What about the hard days, the days when you want to throw in the towel, those days when you just want to quit being a caregiver.  As caregivers, you're navigating unbelievably complex and time-consuming situations.  

You're faced with the grimmest challenges 

• Your loved one is sick and you can’t fix it
• Your loved one is not the same person anymore 
• All your focus is on them, their symptoms and pains
• You’re the caregiver advocate
• You’re holding up the home and family 
• You’re dealing with finances and work
• Then add your own emotions/feelings onto that

How many times have you wished you could get off the caregiving train?  It’s not fun.  It’s a huge sacrifice.  Your heart is telling you to keep going but your mind and body are tapped and the pressure and exhaustion becomes too much.  

First, rid yourself of feeling guilty, embarrassed or shame.   You're human and it’s normal to wish things would just go away.   There’s no greater drain than holding yourself to unrealistic expectations or that picture of the perfect, committed caregiver.  

This caregiving journey isn’t short term, usually it’s a very long term journey.   You have to relook at your expectations of yourself and what you commit to.  You can’t hold up to a commitment and sacrifice that you originally thought you could.  

What can you give up.

You’re the CEO of a really complicated enterprise.  Successful CEOs are constantly re-evaluating their priorities every year, every month, every week and every day to figure out what’s most important. They delegate or let go of everything else. They know that otherwise they’d be ineffective.

Sit down and make a list of all the things you CAN give up; and all of things you could offload to other people. Be ruthless. Be strategic.

• Ask for help  
• Take breaks often
• Prioritize your...

Feeling sad, angry, resenting life, or grieving the good old days or what you used to do.   This episode might be just coming at the right time for you.  

Sadness 

• You see your sick loved one and can’t do anything about it
• The affection is different
• You miss the person of the past  
• You think about your future 

As a caregiver, you’re at risk for depression.  Sometimes you feel hopeless or helpless.  You cab't sleep and have trouble facing the day.   

You're human and it's normal to feel sad.  It’s normal to get down.  But like I said last week, in episode 30, you can’t stay there.  It can lead to depression, health issues, and caregiver stress, burnout and compassion fatigue.   Get my free resource on caregiver stress 

Anger

• Anger and frustration are a normal part of being around someone who needs help on an ongoing basis and who might not be accepting of help. 
• Forgive yourself.  Find constructive ways to express yourself, learn to walk away and give yourself a “time out.” Identify supportive people you can talk to who will listen as you vent about the thing.
• When tired and stressed, it's harder to stay in control of the things you say and feel. 
• If you find yourself feeling cranky and irritable, you probably need a break. You may need to get some rest, as we're in less control when tired. 

Resentment.   When put in a situation not of our choosing, it’s not uncommon to feel negative and resentful. 

• Family situations and dynamics can be a real challenge
• Perhaps it’s your work challenges
• Maybe it’s just resentment of your own time and joy
• Little things easily become big things when we feel unappreciated and unacknowledged

It's easy to forget about the good things that have happened or are happening when you only focus on the negative.  

Staying in resentment changes who you...

I never thought I would experience it again.  

These past couple weeks I have been riding the emotional roller coaster of caregiving - again.   

The words that come to mind are sudden, unexpected and why.

Cancer sucks.  It is a nasty disease.   

Aging sucks.  I hate the circle of life right now.  

But this podcast isn’t a pity party or a Debbie downer.  It’s funny how fast you forget about those firsts.  

• The first inkling that something isn’t right with your loved one.
• The initial shock and numbness when you hear the bad news.
• Then comes all those emotions.  
• Hours of sadness, crying, grief before you really need to
• Anger, frustration 
• Worry, confusion 
• Feeling those nerves inside shaking
• You can’t focus

First, let me tell you about my Mom.  I’m blessed to have a great mother-daughter relationship.  

She is an energizer bunny.  The social butterfly.  The one that is always willing to help.  She is the hard working blue collar worker with her own cleaning business.  She is still cleaning small apartments at age 79.   

She was married to my Dad 57 years until Dad passed away in 2018.  They both traveled, enjoyed spending time together and spent 15 winters in Arizona with their retirement village friends.  It amazed me to see the activities they did from riding motor cycles to ATVs to DIYing and much more.  

Mom and I did some Mother Daughter trips to Jamaica, Arizona, Minneapolis and Branson

In the last 3 years, I watched my Mom transform from a struggling widow to a strong, independent and happy woman.  If you follow me on Facebook, you might see many photos of our Sunday Fundays together.  When I visit at her senior apartment, her phone is always ringing and someone is knocking on her door.  

But now, she is faced with cancer.  I noticed...

Caregiving can often feel like a tightrope walk, a delicate balancing act between taking care of a loved one and self-care. It's a role filled with complexities and challenges that can lead to caregivers feeling overwhelmed and burned out. Our latest podcast episode titled "Untangling the Complexities of Caregiving: Asserting Yourself, Setting Boundaries, and Harnessing the Power of 'No'" delves into these complexities and offers practical advice and actionable strategies to empower caregivers.

The role of a caregiver can be draining, physically, emotionally, and mentally. We often ignore the silent signals our bodies and minds send us when we've hit our limits. It's crucial to recognize these signs and respond accordingly. Whether it's feeling exhausted, angry, or resentful, these are all signs that you need to take a step back and assess your commitment, health, and overall situation. By acknowledging these signals, caregivers can take the first step towards setting healthy boundaries and asserting their needs.

One of the most challenging tasks in caregiving is setting boundaries. Often, caregivers feel obligated to say 'yes' to everything, leaving no time or energy for themselves. However, setting boundaries is not just necessary; it's a form of self-care. It's about acknowledging your limits, identifying what crosses the line, and figuring out solutions. The podcast episode presents a four-step process to help caregivers address situations that overstep their boundaries, enabling them to better manage their time and responsibilities.

The episode also delves into the transformative power of saying 'no'. Saying 'no' can serve as an empowering tool in a caregiver's toolkit. It's not about refusing to care; it's about asserting your needs and setting limits that allow you to provide care without compromising your wellbeing. Saying 'no' can open up opportunities to share caregiving responsibilities with others, deepen the level of honesty and openness in your...