E44: Have You Wished You Could Get Off The Caregiver Train

What about the hard days, the days when you want to throw in the towel, those days when you just want to quit being a caregiver.  As caregivers, you're navigating unbelievably complex and time-consuming situations.  

You're faced with the grimmest challenges 

• Your loved one is sick and you can’t fix it
• Your loved one is not the same person anymore 
• All your focus is on them, their symptoms and pains
• You’re the caregiver advocate
• You’re holding up the home and family 
• You’re dealing with finances and work
• Then add your own emotions/feelings onto that

How many times have you wished you could get off the caregiving train?  It’s not fun.  It’s a huge sacrifice.  Your heart is telling you to keep going but your mind and body are tapped and the pressure and exhaustion becomes too much.  

First, rid yourself of feeling guilty, embarrassed or shame.   You're human and it’s normal to wish things would just go away.   There’s no greater drain than holding yourself to unrealistic expectations or that picture of the perfect, committed caregiver.  

This caregiving journey isn’t short term, usually it’s a very long term journey.   You have to relook at your expectations of yourself and what you commit to.  You can’t hold up to a commitment and sacrifice that you originally thought you could.  

What can you give up.

You’re the CEO of a really complicated enterprise.  Successful CEOs are constantly re-evaluating their priorities every year, every month, every week and every day to figure out what’s most important. They delegate or let go of everything else. They know that otherwise they’d be ineffective.

Sit down and make a list of all the things you CAN give up; and all of things you could offload to other people. Be ruthless. Be strategic.

• Ask for help  
• Take breaks often
• Prioritize your health 
• Consider when it’s time for your Loved One to get help
• Consider talking to a professional 

 When you say “ I’m so tired of being a caregiver”  or  “ I can’t do this anymore”, it’s time to take a step back and really look at yourself, your loved one and your situation.  

 It’s important to NOT put your negative thoughts away.  It’s not going to help you to brush them aside.  You need to process through these.  

When we constantly focus on the positives of caregiving, we undermine the challenges.  In many cases, caregiving may also actually be damaging your health. 

Caregiving can also breed resentment, especially if you’re the only family member involved in the process. You may also find that you have had to put your own dreams aside.

Think about where you are at in your caregiving journey?  How are those tough days and challenges affecting you? 

Get the THREE STAGES OF CAREGIVER OVERWHELM.  If you are burning out?  It’s time to take a hard look at you and your situation.  

You need to look for solutions.   Get creative and try different things until you find the right solutions that fits you and your loved one.