Summer is a time for creating joy and lasting memories, but for caregivers, grand adventures might feel out of reach. However, as discussed in our latest podcast episode, there are plenty of simple, local activities that can bring happiness and connection without requiring elaborate plans or faraway destinations. From intimate picnics and garden strolls to cozy movie nights at home, these activities prove that joy is accessible right where you are.

One of the main topics we delve into is the importance of finding joy in caregiving during the summer season. It can be disheartening to see others jetting off to beach vacations or planning extensive trips while you're tied down with caregiving responsibilities. But joy can still be found in smaller, simpler activities. Personal experiences shared in the episode highlight how local picnics, strolls through botanical gardens, and movie nights at home can create lasting memories. These activities don't just entertain; they foster a deep connection between you and your loved ones.

We also introduce a new text feature designed to enhance listener engagement. This feature allows you to share your caregiving stories, ask questions, and provide feedback. The privacy and confidentiality of your messages are guaranteed, making it a safe space for sharing your thoughts and experiences. This interactive approach ensures that you are not alone in your caregiving journey and can connect with a community of like-minded individuals.

The episode also emphasizes the mental and emotional benefits of spending time outdoors. Whether it's sipping beverages on the patio, listening to music, or attending vibrant community events like food truck rallies and church picnics, these activities can significantly boost mood and enhance focus. For those caring for elderly or ill loved ones, we provide practical tips for accessible outings to botanical gardens, museums, and zoos. These outings not only offer a change of scenery but...

Welcome to The Caregiver Cup Podcast!

Today, we’re diving into a crucial topic: "Making Space as a Caregiver." One of the biggest mistakes caregivers make (myself included) is putting ourselves on hold, which eventually takes a toll on our well-being. Let's talk about how to "make space," recharge, and find your personalized well-being.

The Importance of Making Space

Caregiving is demanding and can consume every aspect of your life if you let it. Let me share a few stories (names and details have been altered for privacy), but I’m sure you’ll relate.

Emma’s Story: The Overwhelmed Caregiver

Emma was a full-time caregiver for her elderly mother with Alzheimer's. She devoted all her time and energy to her mother, often skipping meals and losing sleep. Emma felt guilty even thinking about taking time for herself, believing it was selfish. Over time, her health deteriorated—she was constantly tired, emotionally drained, and began experiencing severe headaches.

One day, Emma fainted while helping her mother and was rushed to the hospital. The doctor told her that her body was under immense stress and she needed to take care of herself to care for her mother. This was Emma’s wake-up call. She realized that neglecting her health was putting both herself and her mother at risk.

Emma decided to set aside time each day for herself. She started small—taking a 30-minute walk, reading a book, or enjoying a quiet cup of tea. She also reached out to a local support group for caregivers and found comfort in sharing her experiences with others who understood her challenges. With these changes, Emma's health improved, and she found herself more capable and patient in her caregiving role.

Emma’s journey highlights skipped meals, poor sleep quality, and body signals like tiredness, headaches, and emotional drain. Her transformation didn’t happen overnight. We worked on making simple changes, like taking two 30-minute...

When Laureen Wysocki took on the role of caregiver for her husband Kevin, who was diagnosed with young-onset dementia, her life took a dramatic turn. It became a journey not just of love and loss, but of immense personal growth, self-discovery, and a deeper understanding of resilience in the face of adversity. This podcast episode provides an intimate glimpse into the life of an opera singer who balances her career with the demands of caregiving, and it is as multifaceted as the roles she performs on stage.

Laureen's narrative is a powerful one, a blend of candid vulnerability and inspiring strength. As she recounts the challenges she has faced, we see the reflection of countless other caregivers who are navigating similar paths. The importance of self-care is a central theme, emphasized through her commitment to practices like gratitude, journaling, and maintaining a support network. These tools not only help her cope but also ensure she remains a steadfast source of support for her husband.

Moreover, Laureen's story touches on the delicate balance of providing care while also setting boundaries and clear communication, a lesson that many caregivers must learn. It's a dance of patience and love, of knowing when to step forward and when to step back. Through the podcast, we are reminded of the importance of accepting help, of the relief and reassurance that come from counseling and community support.

The episode goes on to highlight moments of connection and joy, which shine brightly against the backdrop of dementia's challenges. Laureen's account of a special Valentine's Day with Kevin serves as a poignant reminder that even in the midst of cognitive decline, there can be flashes of awareness, of shared love that transcends the disease. It is these moments that provide caregivers with the strength to continue, to cherish every victory, no matter how small.

As the podcast concludes, listeners are left with an overwhelming sense of hope and encouragement....

When it comes to caregiving, the challenges are never ending, and mealtime can often feel like an insurmountable task amidst a day already packed with responsibilities. This is the core focus of the latest episode of our Caregiver Podcast, where I delve into effective meal planning and prep strategies designed to make life a bit simpler and healthier for you, the caregiver.

The art of meal planning is often overlooked, yet it is a fundamental component of maintaining a balanced life for caregivers and their loved ones. I started this practice as a working mom and continued as a caregiver. My hope  is to offer support and guidance in crafting weekly meal plans that accommodate the unpredictable nature of caregiving.

One of my best tip is on the concept of checking what’s already in your pantry before shopping to ensure a budget-friendly menu. This practice is not only economical but also prevents food waste. Posting the weekly menu on the fridge, a simple yet effective tactic, can guide grocery shopping and keep meal plans on track. I also discuss the convenience of prepping ingredients ahead of time, which can be a game-changer on those evenings when fatigue sets in.

Slow cookers are a lifesaver for me since it's that versatile appliance which can deliver comfort meals with minimal input. I also share the option of leveraging local meal service businesses and meal delivery services for days when cooking is a bridge too far. But I caution you to look at the nutritional content and cost of these services to make informed decisions.

Another layer to consider is the involvement of the family in meal decisions. When I was a working mom, I included my children in meal planning, thereby instilling in them the value of preparation and choice. I encourage you to engage your loved one and families in similar ways.  And more importantly  TO COMMENT...

In today’s episode I want to share a recording of a Live session I did with The Caregiver Cup Community.   I shared an article I found in caregiver.com by Mary Damiano 

As you listen to this episode today, I want you to think about two things

1. What can you do to put yourself first - carving out just 30 minutes each day can make huge changes in your energy.  
2. What motivates you?  Not everyone is a runner.  Not everyone is a morning morning.  You need to find what works best for you to recharge.  So be open and listen to all the tips but then personalize it to your values and your current situation right now.  

Recharging your batteries is one of the most important ways to help your loved one.

R: Rest. One of the most important things a caregiver can do for the person they’re caring for is to take care of themselves. A caregiver who wears himself out, and keeps going 24/7 risks burnout.

E: Eat right. Take a cue from your loved one’s diet and take the opportunity to eat healthy things as well. Maybe you don’t have to adhere to such a strict diet, but eating right certainly never hurts.

C: Communicate your needs to others. Don’t expect anyone, even other family members to read your mind about what you need or what your loved one needs. Let people around you know the things that need to be done and that occasionally; even you could use a hand.

H: Hydrate. Drink lots of water. Water hydrates your body and keeps you energized. Take vitamins if you don’t get enough nutrition from your food.

A: Accept help. This can be the hardest thing for the caregiver to do, but it’s one of the best things a caregiver can do for their loved one and for themselves. When people offer to help, often caregivers turn them down because they don’t want to burden them or because they can’t think of something off the top of their heads. Get over the notion that the only way to get it done...

In the sphere of caregiving, the concept of resilience is not merely a buzzword; it's a necessary trait for navigating the often tumultuous journey of providing care for loved ones. The latest episode of our podcast delves into the practicalities of crafting a toolkit designed for caregivers. This toolkit isn't just about equipping oneself with tangible items but also about accumulating a wealth of strategies and wisdom that can be tapped into during times of need.

The parallels drawn between the experiences of the podcast host in a high-stress corporate job and the role of a caregiver are compelling. They illustrate how life’s previous challenges serve as preparatory grounds for the caregiving role. The 'three I's' technique – Identify, Implement, and go All in – becomes a cornerstone for managing stress, where it was once applied to alleviate travel anxiety, it is now repurposed for caregiving scenarios.

Moreover, the podcast doesn't shy away from the emotional toll that caregiving can take. It openly discusses the feelings of anger and worry that are often intertwined with the caregiving experience. The host shares how, through her own journey, she's managed to transform these emotions into learning experiences, which have become integral parts of her resilience toolkit. This encourages listeners to reflect on their own experiences and recognize that they are not isolated in their struggles.

Creating a consistent routine is highlighted as a vital part of managing the chaos of caregiving. Drawing an analogy with a travel packing list, the podcast emphasizes how routines can anchor caregivers and provide a sense of control amidst the unpredictability of their responsibilities. This approach resonates with anyone who has felt adrift in the unpredictability of caregiving duties.

Furthermore, the podcast advocates for the importance of self-care. It acknowledges that to be able to give generously and with love, caregivers must first ensure...

I'm now 4 years into my caregiving journey.  As I look back I see 4 stages I went through and want to share these with you:  

Stage 1: THE NEW STAGE.  

• The initial news fills you with shock, disbelief and all those emotions
• Then you jump in telling yourself I’ll do whatever it takes. I’ll figure it out
• Here’s where I became obsessed with google - searching anything and everything about your loved one’s condition.  
• You form your team - doctors, nurse navigators, family support, etc
• You try to figure out the who advocacy stuff 
• You're taking care of your loved one
• This stage is focused on the NOW, the NEW and just figuring it out.  
• You just want to get going on your loved one’s care
• You are putting your needs to the side

Stage 2:  ROUTINE OR SETTLING IN STAGE.   

• Things have now become routine somewhat
• You're trying to figure out how to balance work, home, caregiving
• Workload and to do list is bigger
• Fatigue is usually setting in
• Stress is increasing
• You start feeling stretched
• You may find yourself doing things alone
• You and your loved one are more comfortable with your team (doctors, nurses, help)
• You and your loved one are more comfortable with the clinic, labs, treatments, etc
• You become more of an expert with your loved one’s condition
• You're more comfortable with caregiving
• There are good days and bad days
• Your nutrition and self-care looks different

Stage 3:  AWARENESS AND REALITY or as I call it the LIGHT BULB GOES ON

• Caregiving is taking its toll on your health both physically and mentally
• It affects your relationships
• You may be struggling with finances
• You may not see it or may not want to admit it yet - you may want to run from it.
• You realize you can’t do it all and shouldn’t have taken this all on yourself
• You hope it will go away
• Caregiving becomes a burden
• Wishing for your old life
• Realizing that you're stuck, stretched and overwhelmed...

What do you do when you are in a funk, super overstressed, and are stuck in this bad space? 

Affirmations are a self-help strategy used to prompt self-confidence and belief in your own abilities.  They're positive statements that can help you to challenge and overcome self-sabotaging  and negative thoughts. When you repeat them often, and believe in them, you can start to make positive changes.

Affirmation can help you shift your mindset.  Help you believe yourself even when you are fearful or have failed.   

Neuroplasticity, or your brain’s ability to change and adapt to different circumstances throughout your life, offers a clue to help understand not only what makes affirmations work, but how to make them more effective.

Your brain sometimes gets a little mixed up on the difference between reality and imagination, which can be surprisingly useful.

Creating a mental image of yourself doing something activates many of the same brain areas that actually experiencing these situations would.

Regular repetition of affirming statements about yourself can encourage your brain to take these positive affirmations as fact. When you truly believe you can do something, your actions often follow.

Using affirmation before any event, may help you feel more relaxed and help you avoid those negative thoughts or doubts that enter your mind.  

There are many ways to put affirmations into your daily habits.  Repeating an affirmation can help boost your motivation and confidence, but you still have to take some action yourself. Try thinking of affirmations as a step toward change, not the change itself.

Affirmation practices you can use: 

• Affirmations with Visualization . 
•  Affirmations help setting personal goals . 
• Journaling Gratitude with affirmation
•  Find a quiet spot and journal "I am….".   
•  Morning or evening routines
• Add in activity with your affirmations  

Trouble...

Navigating the intricacies of caregiving for individuals with Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) is no small feat. It's a journey that requires an abundance of empathy, patience, and resilience. This delicate subject is at the forefront of our latest podcast episode, where I take you through the personal odyssey as a caregiver to family members grappling with NPD.

The complexities of NPD stretch far beyond the superficial traits of vanity and arrogance. The disorder is deeply rooted in genetics, early childhood experiences, and societal influences. My candid narration delves into the draining effects of friendships marked by narcissism and draws insightful parallels between understanding dementia and NPD. This highlights the importance of recognizing the multifaceted nature of the disorder.

My experiences emphasize the emotional toll caregiving can take, particularly when the person being cared for exhibits manipulative tendencies and a lack of empathy. I bravely shares anecdotes that illustrate the key traits of narcissism and discusses the vital role of understanding these behaviors to effectively manage caregiving responsibilities. Moreover, I share the impact of NPD on relationships, noting how it can overshadow even the most loving connections.

When considering the causes of NPD, the discussion shifts to personal anecdotes about friends whose narcissism was draining and the cultural soil from which such traits may arise. Parenting styles, such as overindulgence and helicopter parenting, are scrutinized for their potential role in fostering narcissistic tendencies. Then I reflect on how understanding the disorder's roots can lead to more effective management and foster empathy—a crucial element for caregivers.

As the episode progresses, you'll get practical advice for dealing with someone with NPD, emphasizing the necessity of boundary-setting and self-care, offering a beacon of...

When we are going through change / hard seasons,  you need that purpose to get you out of bed on those hard days.   Need a reason  You need a why.  

What’s going to motivate you more.  It most likely is not work, caregiving and netflix.   You need something that’s going to keep you alive 

There are three phases of our caregiver normal:    

• 1st phase of being a new caregiver - that honeymoon stage
  • Everything is new
  • You go all in and do whatever it takes
  • You are totally committed and feel you can do it all
  • You may be sad, worried and can’t focus
• 2nd phase:  reality sinks in
  • You ask yourself - Is this my life?
  • Can i really do this forever?
  • You feel personal loss, loneliness and miss your old life.
• 3rd phase:  you have choices to change yourself and the situation
  • "We can’t control the storms coming in our life, but we can control how we work through the storms."  Trent Shelton
  • You are in Acceptance of the journey, challenges and new normal
  • You can’t stay stuck
  • You see the importance of changing things and the results it has if you don’t change it.
  • You're moving to deciding on your purpose and what you are going to make of your situation. 

What is your purpose? 

• Needs to Matter to YOU.   
• Must be bigger than you.  
• Something you are working on for the future

What kind of impact do you want to leave in this world?  

If you don’t think you can leave your footprint in this world as a caregiver, Friend, let me tell you …. YOU CAN.   You actually are.  

Are you living a passion filled life?   Are you called to do something bigger?  
Can you shed self-doubt, find inspiration and change your life for the better?  Heck Ya!

Because when caregiving is over (whatever the outcome brings to you), you want to be proud of yourself for what you did.