E58: Four Stages Of Your Caregiving

I'm now 4 years into my caregiving journey.  As I look back I see 4 stages I went through and want to share these with you:  

Stage 1: THE NEW STAGE.  

• The initial news fills you with shock, disbelief and all those emotions
• Then you jump in telling yourself I’ll do whatever it takes. I’ll figure it out
• Here’s where I became obsessed with google - searching anything and everything about your loved one’s condition.  
• You form your team - doctors, nurse navigators, family support, etc
• You try to figure out the who advocacy stuff 
• You're taking care of your loved one
• This stage is focused on the NOW, the NEW and just figuring it out.  
• You just want to get going on your loved one’s care
• You are putting your needs to the side

Stage 2:  ROUTINE OR SETTLING IN STAGE.   

• Things have now become routine somewhat
• You're trying to figure out how to balance work, home, caregiving
• Workload and to do list is bigger
• Fatigue is usually setting in
• Stress is increasing
• You start feeling stretched
• You may find yourself doing things alone
• You and your loved one are more comfortable with your team (doctors, nurses, help)
• You and your loved one are more comfortable with the clinic, labs, treatments, etc
• You become more of an expert with your loved one’s condition
• You're more comfortable with caregiving
• There are good days and bad days
• Your nutrition and self-care looks different

Stage 3:  AWARENESS AND REALITY or as I call it the LIGHT BULB GOES ON

• Caregiving is taking its toll on your health both physically and mentally
• It affects your relationships
• You may be struggling with finances
• You may not see it or may not want to admit it yet - you may want to run from it.
• You realize you can’t do it all and shouldn’t have taken this all on yourself
• You hope it will go away
• Caregiving becomes a burden
• Wishing for your old life
• Realizing that you're stuck, stretched and overwhelmed and don’t know how to get out.  

But then something happens in this difficult stage - you begin to see reality

Stage 4:  FIGURE OUT STAGE 

• You start shifting.   
• You can see what is causing overwhelm, stress, stretched and stuck
• Seeing everything is KEY to moving forward and getting to a better caregiver life.  
• You start asking for help
• You start putting yourself first
• You're open to trying new habits and routines
• You can learn ways to release overwhelm
• You find purpose
• You start pursing your passions WHILE caregiving w/o guilt
• Personal growth and courage happens
• You may have to make hard decisions

Caregiving is a journey.  Being a caregiver is an on-the-job training like no other.  

You can just go through the motions or you can take it as a beautiful gift.   

I've learned so much about my loved ones, their diseases, the medical profession and most importantly myself through this journey that is still going.  

I'm so grateful that I can share my journey with you on The Caregiver Cup Podcast.  Soon, very soon, I'll be sharing a free webinar with you regarding the shifts I made when moving from Stage 3 to 4.