One of my favorite additions to The Caregiver Wife Podcast is the interviews with caregiver wives.  Each woman has a unique with a  different story.  Each diverse story that’s shared is a way for listeners to gain insights, motivation, inspiration, strength and ways to lead as a caregiver.  If you want to share your story, click this link.

I would love to connect with you!!!

And now on to the show episode….  In this episode…. 

I have the pleasure of interviewing Jodi Duggan.  She is a Mom, Grandmother, and Caregiver Wife.   I have a unique connection to her since she is married to my brother, John.   I knew her story but when I heard her share the details, I felt her strength, courage and abilities to overcome challenges in a whole different light.  Oh and did I share that she was a military wife raising 4 children while my brother was deployed.

Meet my best friend, high school sweetheart and spouse of 39 years.  Denis Vandenheuvel is the most optimistic and positive person I know.  

In this episode, Denis will share his health journey and talk through his struggles and ways he shifted his mindset.  

I hope you can glean information from the eyes of my spouse going through his health struggles in the last three years.     

See more pictures and stories on my website at https://www.cathylvan.com/about

Just 4 weeks after starting my caregiving journey, I stood at the starting line to run my half marathon.  I struggled, cried, and just about quit until I got to mile 10.  

I was numb.   I was lost.   I felt like I lost my purpose.   I was faking everything.   I was supposed to be the supportive wife - Denis was the one sick and needed me.   

I remember getting up on that October Saturday morning and it gray, cloudy with drizzly rain.   It was time to run my half marathon that I trained 12 weeks for.  The only issue is that the last 4 weeks were a total mess.   My Dad was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer.  Then Denis was diagnosed with CLL.   In those 4 weeks, I was  trying to work, run my business, going to doctor appointments and chemotherapy.  I didn’t run much in the last 4 weeks and my nutrition and diet was terrible.   When you ramp up to race day,  your main focus should be getting your body ready physically, nutritionally and mentally and I was so distracted.   Who wouldn’t be.    But I was committed to this race and even if I have to walk it, I will do it.  

With the rain, I wore one of those plastic ponchos over my running shorts, and tank top.  It was a humid 55 degrees at the starting line.   The starting line was filled with women runners for the annual breast cancer run and everyone was listening to the “pump up” music and then the national anthem.   It took me a few minutes to feel the emotions of starting a race, but this time it was way different.    I felt nervous, stressed, worried and dreading my passion.    Denis was standing on the sideline smiling like he always does.   This guy is going through cancer and he is supporting me.   I felt so much guilty at that moment.  

The gun goes off and the race begins.   My feet and legs were so...

My caregiving journey started in September 2017.  Life went from normal to being tossed in the air falling apart.   I know that’s pretty dramatic, but that was reality.   

It meant immediate action mode to help my spouse fight cancer.   I learned the many roles of Caregiver fast (scheduler, advocate, chauffeur, nurse)  plus all the medical terminologies and procedures ( biopsies, hematology, chemotherapy, CT scans, PET scans).

In the midst of this, I felt like I was riding a roller coaster.  My emotions went from shock to lack of focus to sadness to denial to worry to anger and more.   Then when I felt like I could manage my emotions, overwhelm and exhaustion became my new visitor.  

In today’s episode, I’m sharing the one thing that shifted me in the right direction.   I took 15 minutes and sat down with a notebook and pen and reflected on the big picture. 

Get my FREE “big picture” handout that will get you to see where you were, where you are and gets you working towards a better version of you in this caregiving journey.

Let’s get to this big picture episode!

Reflecting on the year gone by is not just an exercise in nostalgia; it's a powerful caregiver practice that enables personal growth and resilience. In the latest episode of the Caregiver Cup podcast, we delve into the intimate journey of reflecting on the past year's experiences, both the highs and lows, and how they can inform our caregiver path moving forward.

I share my moments of pride such as setting a retirement date and maintaining podcast consistency. You can see the transformative power of positivity and the importance of celebrating even the smallest successes. These personal stories are not only relatable but also serve as inspiration to journal your own triumphs and to cherish the memories that have made a lasting impact.

Throughout the episode, I share thought-provoking questions that serve to uncover areas of personal growth and the often overlooked moments of joy that arise from regular self-care practices. By guiding you through a reflective practice, the episode underscores the importance of introspection in understanding our patterns and behaviors as caregivers. It's a process that acknowledges our need for self-care and emotional attentiveness, something that can easily be lost in the demands of caregiving.

The episode also covers the necessity of confronting the challenges faced throughout the year. Instead of dwelling on the negative, we're encouraged to recognize patterns, understand what may have been overlooked, and identify opportunities for growth. It's about taking an honest look at the year, acknowledging what it was, and using this understanding to move forward with intention and clarity.

In addition to reflection, we discuss practical strategies for simplifying life and embracing self-improvement. I share tips on decluttering, creating schedules, and finding new ways to stay connected with friends and loved ones. The discussion extends to finding joy in new hobbies and connections, emphasizing that change can come from...

Welcome To The Caregiver Cup Podcast.   My name is Cathy VandenHeuvel.   I’m so glad you found this podcast.  As a caregiver myself, I know how important it is to find a community that understands all the challenges of juggling all the caregiving responsibilities, how isolated you can feel,  and how stress and burnout can affect your mind and body.  But I know how rewarding and what a beautiful gift it is to take care of your loved one.

I was months into my caregiving journey where I found myself sitting in my car at a local park crying and banging on the steering wheel.  I was so tired, emotional and felt stuck.  I wanted my old life back and just wanted to run away.  I realized I didn’t take a breath and  was in auto-pilot and put my life on hold.  

I gained 20 pounds and wasn’t taking care of myself.  I would lay my head on my pillow at night and couldn’t sleep.  I would worry about my loved ones.  I gave up my daily routines at the gym, coffee with friends and added more to my busy schedule.  

People would remind me “don’t forget to take care of yourself”.   I would smile and then get angry thinking - how do I do that when the two men in my life were diagnosed with Stage 4 cancers and they needed my support.  

Fast forward 2 years.   I was managing better by adding healthy routines in my life - journaling gratitude, morning walks and trying to eat healthy.   But the caregiver stress was still there and was now chronic (meaning it was constant and has been there for a long time)   doctor diagnosed me with IBS and depression.  I gained an additional 10 pounds which added up to 30 pounds gained.  

I started reaching out to other caregivers, support groups and reading about this caregivers stress and what it does to you.   At that point, I knew I had to use my voice to share this....

Navigating the complex world of caregiving often presents an overwhelming sense of guilt and pressure, especially when trying to balance personal life, work, and the needs of loved ones. In a poignant episode of the Caregiver Cup podcast, the personal journey of navigating a tumultuous week during Thanksgiving in 2017 is shared, along with insights on how accepting the present moment can alleviate these feelings.

One of the major challenges caregivers face is when they or their loved ones receive a cancer diagnosis. This life-changing event often throws caregivers into a maelstrom of emotions, making self-care fall by the wayside. The podcast emphasizes the importance of taking it all in, allowing it to settle, and logically prioritizing what's important. Granting oneself grace during these challenging times and leaning into therapy and community for strength is highlighted as a vital part of coping with a cancer diagnosis.

Moreover, the societal pressures caregivers often face can significantly amplify feelings of guilt. These pressures, coupled with the unrealistically high expectations caregivers set for themselves, can make them feel like they are constantly falling short. This episode shares practical tips for managing and overcoming caregiver guilt. These include practicing self-compassion, setting realistic expectations, and seeking support.

Understanding the importance of setting boundaries and acknowledging one's limits is a critical part of being a caregiver. Establishing clear boundaries that ensure time for self-care and personal well-being, while providing care for loved ones, can help caregivers manage their feelings of guilt and promote their overall emotional well-being. This mindset shift can gradually help caregivers manage and overcome feelings of guilt and enable them to provide more effective care for their loved ones.

Another key focus of the episode is the importance of self-reflection. By taking the time to reflect on feelings...

Celebrating three years of the Caregiver Cup podcast, we have truly come a long way. What began as a humble hope to make a difference in the lives of caregivers has grown into an impactful platform that has built a community and reshaped countless lives. We have not only built a podcast, but a support network where caregivers can share their experiences, find solace in common struggles, and draw strength from each other.

I remember the excitement and apprehension of starting this journey. The uncertainty was overwhelming, but so was the passion. The dream of creating a podcast was met with doubts and fears, but also a profound belief in the potential of what we were embarking on. It's this raw, unfiltered passion that drove us to plunge right into the podcasting world, with nothing more than a dream and a microphone.

We've grown tremendously since then, with our vision expanding along with our community. From changing our name to broadening our content scope, we have evolved to better serve our listeners. We are also excited to announce our plans to expand to YouTube, providing more accessibility and variety to our content. This is all part of our ongoing mission to support and empower caregivers in every way possible.

One of the key lessons we've learned through this journey is the power of community. The stories, experiences, and insights shared by our listeners have shaped the Caregiver Cup podcast into what it is today. Each email, message, and review we receive serves as a reminder of why we do what we do. They provide us with the motivation to keep going, to keep creating, and to keep striving to make a difference.

Starting a podcast is not an easy task. It requires planning, dedication, and a lot of hard work. But it's also an incredibly rewarding experience. Being able to provide a platform where caregivers can find support, advice, and a sense of belonging has been one of the most fulfilling aspects of this journey. And we are just getting...

Caregiving can be a rewarding experience, but it also comes with its fair share of challenges, one of which is the constant worry and anxiety that caregivers often face. This is a topic we explore in depth in our latest podcast episode, "Redirecting Chronic and Obsessive Worry as a Caregiver."

Worry and anxiety are common among caregivers, often due to the uncertainty and unpredictability that come with caring for someone else's health and well-being. Whether it's concern about a loved one's prognosis, managing medical appointments, or simply the daily tasks of caregiving, these worries can easily consume us and take a toll on our mental health.

Understanding the difference between general worry and unhealthy worry is the first step towards managing this anxiety. General worry is a normal human emotion and can be helpful in some situations. However, when worry becomes obsessive, it can lead to anxiety and even physical symptoms, such as heart palpitations, stomach aches, or insomnia.

One of the strategies discussed in the episode for managing worry is recognizing and challenging our core beliefs. Often, these beliefs can fuel our anxiety and keep us stuck in a cycle of worry. For instance, some caregivers might believe that worrying shows they care, or that it can prevent bad outcomes. However, these beliefs are often unhelpful and can contribute to excessive worry.

Another strategy is to distract your brain when you find yourself consumed by worry. This could involve physical activity, like going for a walk, or mental distractions, like watching a favorite TV show or reading a book. It's about finding something that can take your mind off your worries, even if just for a short while.

Writing out your worries can also be an effective tool. It allows you to get your thoughts and fears out of your head and onto paper, where you can see them more clearly and challenge them more effectively.

One of the most important things to remember is that managing worry and anxiety...