It's Hard - This New Normal Now

As I was prepping for this podcast,  I went back to a dark day in 2018.   I didn’t want to get out of bed, I called in sick from my 9-5 job and actually lied about being sick.   I just wanted to get in the car and drive away.  How far could I go before anyone noticed? I seriously wanted to run away from my life.  

That day I did go for a drive.  I spent that day really figuring out where I was.  I had to face reality.  I had to accept my new normal, grieve my old life and move forward.   It was a huge tipping point for me. 

It is hard to face this reality , but truth is, you have to hear it .  You have to take that step forward.

I have a free handout for you.  This is what I wrote out that day.  Go to www. cathylvan.com/newnormal 

Now it’s not the magical potion or a solution, but it helped me shift my thoughts and emotions to make the best of the situation and get that positive mindset working. 

I want to talk about YOU, your choices and your new normal.   

• It’s hard
• It sucks
• You can’t focus
• I am stressed
• I am angry
• I am in shock
• I am confused
• I think you get what I am saying.  

It’s not fair and you didn’t see it coming.  

But you could say - it’s bad, it’s awful, I am done.  I can’t do this.  I have to quit my life, It’s my life now.  

Or you can say this new normal is my new challenge, my new struggle and I will adjust.   

I love this stat.    A person has 60k thoughts daily.  45k of those thoughts are negative, pessimistic, doubtful, etc.  That means only 25% of our thoughts are positive, optimistic, etc

So it takes a heck of a lot of work to shift your brain, train your brain and look at it with reality and the choice to be positive.

Caregiving it hard.  Watching your spouse’s illness or injury is hard.  

I remember going to the dark place often.   But you have to recognize that you don’t want to stay there.  

But reality is, you're grieving and dealing with this new normal

Grieving the life that you had.   Wherever you are at in this process, you can feel grief immediately, later down the road and it can come back at different times.  

It starts with acknowledging and sitting with your situation and feelings.   There's not a magical formula that will tell you how to do this or how long this takes.  But what I know is that you can’t avoid it or deny it’s happening.  

• It may require talking to someone
• Journaling
• Just crying and sitting with it for a while.  
• Everyone is different
• Each of the situations are different

You are going through a major change in your life.  I think of it as an identity change

• Your identity is changing.  You're changing.   You'll come out of this a totally different person
• But your mind is still processing who you were vs who you are now.  
• You are becoming someone else.  

You can choose your identity and mindset 

 ➡️ Believe in yourself. 

➡️ Believe in who you are and stand up for your purpose

➡️ Believe that you are in control of your efforts.   

➡️ Create that higher capacity to succeed - higher capacity to believe it.  

➡️ Stand up with courage and belief and control what you can control  

➡️ Choose your hard

➡️ Choose your mindset

➡️ Choose your belief