Hey there, fellow caregiver! If you're reading this, chances are you're juggling a million things at once and feeling the weight of the world on your shoulders. I get it because I've been there too. Today, I want to share a simple yet powerful habit that has helped me find some much-needed relief and joy in my caregiving journey. It's called the "I'm so done with _______ and I'm so ready for ________" habit.

The Birth of a New Habit

Inspired by a segment I recently heard on Hoda and Jenna's show, I found myself nodding along as they shared their "I'm so done with..." lists. It struck a chord with me. As caregivers, we often carry around a lot of frustrations, worries, and pent-up emotions. Sometimes, we just need to let it all out. That's where this habit comes in.

Why It Works

1. Cathartic Release: Listing what you're "so done with" allows you to vent and acknowledge your frustrations without guilt or shame. It's like giving yourself permission to feel all those emotions you've been bottling up.

2. Positive Focus: Shifting to what you're "so ready for" helps redirect your energy towards positive change. It's about envisioning a better, more balanced future.

3. Empowerment: This habit gives you a sense of control. While there are many aspects of caregiving we can't change, identifying and focusing on the things we can influence helps us feel empowered.

How to Get Started

1. Find a Quiet Moment: Carve out some time for yourself. Grab a cup of coffee, sit in your favorite chair, and let your thoughts flow.

2. Write It Down: Start with "I'm so done with...". List everything that comes to mind. It could be the small annoyances like waiting in exam rooms or bigger challenges like dealing with the emotional toll of caregiving.

3. Shift to the Positive: After you've vented, move on to "I'm so ready for...". Think about what you want to embrace or change. It could be as simple as making more time for yourself or as ambitious as finding new ways to manage stress.

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Hello and welcome to another insightful episode of The Caregiver Cup Podcast. Today, we're delving into a crucial topic: How to Show Up Better When Faced with Hard Situations, Crises, or Feeling Stuck. This discussion stems from my recent personal experience with dental issues, and I believe it will shed light on transformative changes you can make in challenging circumstances.

In late February, I found myself in excruciating tooth pain. A visit to the dentist, an exam, and x-rays yielded no immediate solutions. Despite the pain being manageable at first, it intensified rapidly. This led to a frustrating series of events that mirrored the challenges many caregivers face.

This dental saga provided me with a fresh perspective on what we can control and influence in challenging situations, a lesson I believe is invaluable for caregivers. It's essential to consider what aspects we can change, influence, and control when faced with the overwhelming nature of caregiving.

So, let's dive into the 5 crucial steps to handle challenging situations effectively:

1. Gather All the Facts: When navigating situations where you feel lost and hopeless, step back, and objectively gather all the facts. Just like a detective, list out the specifics. In my dental ordeal, this involved noting the day, severity of pain, the endodontist's office schedule, and my need for urgent care. Caregivers, grab that paper and pen – it's time to be your own investigator.

2. Leave Out Your Emotions: While emotions are valid, learning to manage them is crucial. In my case, crying wouldn't have expedited my dental appointment. Instead, I chose to express my frustrations and pain articulately. As caregivers, it's essential to acknowledge emotions but ensure they don't hijack the situation.

3. Ask Good Questions: When armed with facts and a clear emotional state, the next step is to ask relevant questions. In my dental emergencies, asking about earlier appointments got me on the...

You're a busy woman caregiver who feels pressured to be able to do it all,  juggling your career, family, caregiving, managing the household and more.

Superwoman Syndrome is exactly what it says it is - trying to be Superwoman. And more often than not, you're feeling overworked, overwhelmed and overly committed. You're also exhausted, anxious and stressed.  But don't worry - you are not alone.

According to Dr. Madeline Ann Lewis, co-author of Overcoming the Superwoman Syndrome, some of us wear this imaginary cape because we:

• Want to be the good, little girl
• Have a tendency towards people-pleasing
• Seek attention
• Want to feel like you can do it all
• You cannot say no to others
• To feel accomplished
• Have low self-esteem
• Strive for perfection

The Superwoman is also a good person, duty oriented, very responsible and truly desires to do what is right.

Symptoms of superwoman syndrome and caregiver burnout:  

• Bouts of irritability
• Inability to sleep or excessive sleep
• Memory issues
• Muscle tension
• Anxiety
• Sweating when not physically active
• Inability to concentrate
• General aches and pains

 It’s important to be aware of what your body is trying to tell you.  Aspiring to a level of perfectionism that is not attainable and sacrificing your well-being consistently will inevitably lead you down the path to caregiver stress, burnout and eventually fatigue.   It may rob you of your joy.  

Accumulated stress opens the door to a multitude of health issues, including early aging, heart disease, diabetes, obesity and gastrointestinal conditions. 

So it’s time to take off that costume and cape.  

When you recognize that superwoman syndrome or caregiver burnout is present in your caregiver life, it’s time to.  Shed that costume, untie that cape and figure out ways to overcome this.   

First and foremost it’s not easy to admit that you can’t do it all.  You don’t need to...

Are you feeling like nothing is working in your Caregiver Life? Are you getting down on yourself with little hope that things will change? You're not alone. In this tough season, when caregiving feels overwhelming, it's crucial to remember three things.

1. You Are Not Alone: It might sound cliché, but acknowledging that you're not alone is essential. While it doesn't instantly alleviate the challenges, understanding that others have been there, too, can provide perspective and inspiration.

2. Caregiving Has Its Ups and Downs: Caregiving is a rollercoaster with its share of ups and downs. Recognizing this truth is the first step towards navigating the tough times effectively.

3. Stop Being So Hard on Yourself: Don't let missed tasks or mistakes define your worth. You can't control everything, and that's okay. Instead of self-criticism, ask yourself what went wrong, why it happened, and work towards a better plan.

Taking a Pause

Now, let's explore a crucial step in finding solutions: taking a pause. It might seem impossible in the constant demands of caregiving, but pausing and assessing the situation is vital. Picture it like recalibrating your GPS:

1. Slow Down and Assess the Situation FIRST: Even in the busiest caregiving moments, taking a moment to pause can provide clarity. Whether it's a day, half a day, or even an hour, find time to recalibrate.

2. Check-in with Your Mental Health: During this pause, ask yourself simple yet profound questions about your basic needs. Have you drunk water, been outside, eaten, had a regular bowel movement, moved your body, slept well, and connected with someone or something you treasure? If any answers are no, focus on those aspects this week.

Moving Forward with 7 Questions

Now that you've paused and assessed, it's time to move forward with intention and focus. Ask yourself these seven questions:

1. Who are 1-3 people I can talk to honestly about this situation?

   • Talking to others helps break the cycle of...

As a caregiver, you embark on a path that often takes you through uncharted emotional territories. The journey is not just about providing care, but also about personal transformation. This podcast episode delves into the transformative process caregivers undergo, from the initial fear and doubt to eventual mastery and empowerment.

Imagine the scenario: your loved one needs a stem cell transplant, and suddenly, you're thrust into a whirlwind of medical terms and life-altering decisions. This is where our host's journey began. The fear zone is the first hurdle, marked by avoidance, stress, and overwhelm. It's easy to feel out of your depth, whether it's facing unfamiliar medical equipment or navigating the complex healthcare system. But recognizing these feelings is the first step towards moving out of the fear zone.

Transitioning into the learning zone, caregivers begin to acquire new skills. Understanding medical information becomes less daunting, and communicating with healthcare professionals becomes more fluid. The growth in confidence is palpable as you learn to manage medications or schedule appointments more efficiently. This phase is crucial as it builds the foundation for the next leap – into the growth zone.

The growth zone is where true transformation occurs. Caregivers find themselves developing resilience, handling bad news with a constructive mindset, and learning to seek support when necessary. This episode emphasizes that this empowerment doesn't happen overnight. It's a patchwork of confidence built on acknowledging strengths and confronting limitations.

Towards the end of the podcast, the host shares insights on the importance of pacing oneself and the need for self-care. Caregiving is likened to a marathon, requiring patience and the ability to adapt to new roles. Strategies such as automating mundane tasks can help reclaim time for self-care, which is essential for caregivers to be their best selves.

The podcast also introduces the...

You jump in your car and the check engine light goes on.  Well you think to yourself, should I just leave it or bring it back into the shop.  There obviously is something wrong. 

How does this relate to caregiving.  Today I want to talk about resilience

Things have shifted in your life, as well as mine.  Your life is not the same.  Change has happened or maybe it’s still happening, like mine is in the caregiver life and caregiver journey

Dealing with changes, challenges, barriers and disruptions is hard.  It’s frustrating,  It’s scay and then there is the uncertainty too.  It challenges your beliefs and it can knock you down.  

Resilience is the promise of the human spirit  - that it can rise through it.  That you can move forward with great faith and optimism and recapture it all.  

It's the  ability to believe.  When a challenge or situation occurs and we can’t find the strength to pick ourselves up.  We believe this and our mindset is stuck.    Our ability to do that (thing) is slows us down by hurt, pain, trauma, grief or whatever you are feeling.   Think about your struggles.   What is the one thing that happened recently that brought you down?

When you’re in your deepest, darkest, it’s hard to find that mental strength.  First and foremost, you have to be ok with this and grant yourself grace since you are not perfect.  

Resilience begins with acknowledgement of the challenge, struggles, and difficulties of the hardship.   Because picking yourself up, remaining strong in this time is super hard

When we don’t allow ourselves to sense it and feel it, we leave that check engine light on and risk that it will wreck our engine.  Hurt and pain are like that engine light.  We can’t drive it and hope it gets better.  It won’t get better.  It won’t go away.