Welcome to The Caregiver Cup Podcast!

Today, we’re diving into a crucial topic: "Making Space as a Caregiver." One of the biggest mistakes caregivers make (myself included) is putting ourselves on hold, which eventually takes a toll on our well-being. Let's talk about how to "make space," recharge, and find your personalized well-being.

The Importance of Making Space

Caregiving is demanding and can consume every aspect of your life if you let it. Let me share a few stories (names and details have been altered for privacy), but I’m sure you’ll relate.

Emma’s Story: The Overwhelmed Caregiver

Emma was a full-time caregiver for her elderly mother with Alzheimer's. She devoted all her time and energy to her mother, often skipping meals and losing sleep. Emma felt guilty even thinking about taking time for herself, believing it was selfish. Over time, her health deteriorated—she was constantly tired, emotionally drained, and began experiencing...

Hey there, fellow caregiver! If you're reading this, chances are you're juggling a million things at once and feeling the weight of the world on your shoulders. I get it because I've been there too. Today, I want to share a simple yet powerful habit that has helped me find some much-needed relief and joy in my caregiving journey. It's called the "I'm so done with _______ and I'm so ready for ________" habit.

The Birth of a New Habit

Inspired by a segment I recently heard on Hoda and Jenna's show, I found myself nodding along as they shared their "I'm so done with..." lists. It struck a chord with me. As caregivers, we often carry around a lot of frustrations, worries, and pent-up emotions. Sometimes, we just need to let it all out. That's where this habit comes in.

Why It Works

1. Cathartic Release: Listing what you're "so done with" allows you to vent and acknowledge your frustrations without guilt or shame. It's like giving yourself permission to feel all those emotions...

Self-Soothing is your solution to reducing and releasing overwhelm.  That anxiety, stress and pressure you feel each day.

What is self-soothing?   We learn how to self-soothe from the moment we enter this world. Some of our first acknowledgments of our mental feelings and our physical bodies occur as young as a newborn. Infants learn how to self-soothe through means of thumb-sucking. It is from this early age, that we begin to learn and understand that we are capable of healing ourselves, something that we should acknowledge and remember as we move through life.

When we get hurt, physically or mentally, feel anxious, or depressed, we all hope to feel better. We seek feeling better by learning how to make ourselves heal and relieve anxieties, in both immediate and long term ways. In other words, we self soothe. Self soothing is a way in which we treat ourselves to feelings of betterment, so that we can move forward, past any negativity or pain. 

As...

What about the hard days, the days when you want to throw in the towel, those days when you just want to quit being a caregiver.  As caregivers, you're navigating unbelievably complex and time-consuming situations.  

You're faced with the grimmest challenges 

• Your loved one is sick and you can’t fix it
• Your loved one is not the same person anymore 
• All your focus is on them, their symptoms and pains
• You’re the caregiver advocate
• You’re holding up the home and family 
• You’re dealing with finances and work
• Then add your own emotions/feelings onto that

How many times have you wished you could get off the caregiving train?  It’s not fun.  It’s a huge sacrifice.  Your heart is telling you to keep going but your mind and body are tapped and the pressure and exhaustion becomes too much.  

First, rid yourself of feeling guilty, embarrassed or shame.   You're human and it’s normal to...

Just when you think you have it figured out, there is a challenging day, week or urgent situation that happens.  Reality is that there are tons and tons of variables which play into your stressors and anxiety:  atmosphere, people, your love one (illness, injury, mood), your mood, outside distractions, frustrations and more. 

Dr Roderick Logan from Arizona Trauma Institute shared a You Tube presentation where he uses a water bottle to demonstrate the need for resilience to overcome stress and compassion fatigue in the workplace and personal life.   

How to reduce or stop feeling anxious, referenced WebMD

1. Stay in your time zone
2. Relabel what's happening
3. Fact-check your thoughts
4. Breathe in and out
5. Follow the 3-3-3 rule
6. Just do something
7. Stand up straight
8. Stay away from sugar
9. Ask for a second opinion
10. Watch a funny video or music

Tips to manage stress, referenced WebMD

1. Exercise
2. Relax your muscles
3. Deep breathing
4. Eat well
5. Slow down
6. ...

This week I started my Spring gardening prep.   

I can’t clean out the leaves and debris yet since until it gets warmer since the bees, butterflies and other little insects are trying to stay warm yet.  But it’s time to prune the bushes and trees.  

My husband just rolls his eyes and goes along with my gardening passion.   If it was up to him, we would just leave it.  But I want the plants and trees needs just a bit of help to show their beauty.  

Here’s the definition: 

Pruning removes dead and dying branches and stubs, allowing room for new growth and protecting your property and passerby from damage. It also deters pest and animal infestation and promotes the plant's natural shape and healthy growth.

It’s also a reminder that we can do our own personal pruning too.  

• Can you prune back those dead or dying branches?   What are those for you?
• Is it worry?   Can you find a...

Today's episode is all about you and your overwhelm.  The true facts about how this stress, anxiety, burnout and fatigue creep up on you and before you know it, you are in the thick of it and don’t know what to do.  

When I first became a caregiver, I let the adrenaline drive me through the overwhelm.  When that faded, I let my mind and body do the work.  Well looking back, I now see the 3 stages of overwhelm I went through and it’s toll it took on myself, my Loved One, my friendships and more.  

That’s why over the last month, I sat down and really did some digging into this subject.  I researched 100s of articles, interviewed caregivers and fead all my journal entries, text messages, facebook post on where I was at.

So today, I want to highlight the 3 stages of caregiver overwhelm - the whats, the why, the hows and more.    You can find the entire resource at cathylvan.com/caregiverstress

1. Caregiver Stress
2. ...