Welcome to The Caregiver Cup Podcast!

Today, we’re diving into a crucial topic: "Making Space as a Caregiver." One of the biggest mistakes caregivers make (myself included) is putting ourselves on hold, which eventually takes a toll on our well-being. Let's talk about how to "make space," recharge, and find your personalized well-being.

The Importance of Making Space

Caregiving is demanding and can consume every aspect of your life if you let it. Let me share a few stories (names and details have been altered for privacy), but I’m sure you’ll relate.

Emma’s Story: The Overwhelmed Caregiver

Emma was a full-time caregiver for her elderly mother with Alzheimer's. She devoted all her time and energy to her mother, often skipping meals and losing sleep. Emma felt guilty even thinking about taking time for herself, believing it was selfish. Over time, her health deteriorated—she was constantly tired, emotionally drained, and began experiencing severe headaches.

One day, Emma fainted while helping her mother and was rushed to the hospital. The doctor told her that her body was under immense stress and she needed to take care of herself to care for her mother. This was Emma’s wake-up call. She realized that neglecting her health was putting both herself and her mother at risk.

Emma decided to set aside time each day for herself. She started small—taking a 30-minute walk, reading a book, or enjoying a quiet cup of tea. She also reached out to a local support group for caregivers and found comfort in sharing her experiences with others who understood her challenges. With these changes, Emma's health improved, and she found herself more capable and patient in her caregiving role.

Emma’s journey highlights skipped meals, poor sleep quality, and body signals like tiredness, headaches, and emotional drain. Her transformation didn’t happen overnight. We worked on making simple changes, like taking two 30-minute...

Caregivers often carry around undeserved guilt, believing that they aren’t doing enough for their loved ones. This guilt can make the caregiving role even more stressful than it already is. One might ask why a caregiver feels guilty when they’re doing such a courageous job.

Guilt is the feeling we have when we do something wrong. 

Guilt in caring for our loved one comes in many forms.  And sometimes caregivers feel guilty about thinking of their own needs and see that as selfish, especially if they go to a movie or out to lunch with a friend.You may believe that your own needs are insignificant.  

So ask yourself:   Why do I feel guilty?  

• Is it Shame?  
• Is it Control?  
• Do you feel like you failed?
• What other people will think?  

Why does needing to ask for help lead to caregiver guilt?

• We're afraid someone will see us as weak. Actually, it takes a pretty strong person to ask for help when they need it.
• We feel that the responsibility is ours alone. By admitting that we can’t do it all, it may feel as if we are not living up to our duties or not giving our loved one the care they deserve.
• We are afraid people will judge us. As easy as this is to say, it is equally hard to do: don’t let someone else’s opinion of you dictate your actions. Your health and well-being is more important than what someone else thinks about you.
• We are afraid of not being taken seriously.  Call a spade a spade—if you feel you are not being taken seriously, say so. If you are talking to a health provider, it’s their responsibility to hear your concerns with an open ear. Speak up, and if you don’t get the response you need, look for help somewhere else.
• We are afraid of being treated with disrespect. If someone talks down to you or treats you dismissively, you don’t have to take it. You have the right to be heard and respected.

So let’s flip here and move from why to what...