Welcome to The Caregiver Cup Podcast!

Today, we’re diving into a crucial topic: "Making Space as a Caregiver." One of the biggest mistakes caregivers make (myself included) is putting ourselves on hold, which eventually takes a toll on our well-being. Let's talk about how to "make space," recharge, and find your personalized well-being.

The Importance of Making Space

Caregiving is demanding and can consume every aspect of your life if you let it. Let me share a few stories (names and details have been altered for privacy), but I’m sure you’ll relate.

Emma’s Story: The Overwhelmed Caregiver

Emma was a full-time caregiver for her elderly mother with Alzheimer's. She devoted all her time and energy to her mother, often skipping meals and losing sleep. Emma felt guilty even thinking about taking time for herself, believing it was selfish. Over time, her health deteriorated—she was constantly tired, emotionally drained, and began experiencing severe headaches.

One day, Emma fainted while helping her mother and was rushed to the hospital. The doctor told her that her body was under immense stress and she needed to take care of herself to care for her mother. This was Emma’s wake-up call. She realized that neglecting her health was putting both herself and her mother at risk.

Emma decided to set aside time each day for herself. She started small—taking a 30-minute walk, reading a book, or enjoying a quiet cup of tea. She also reached out to a local support group for caregivers and found comfort in sharing her experiences with others who understood her challenges. With these changes, Emma's health improved, and she found herself more capable and patient in her caregiving role.

Emma’s journey highlights skipped meals, poor sleep quality, and body signals like tiredness, headaches, and emotional drain. Her transformation didn’t happen overnight. We worked on making simple changes, like taking two 30-minute...

How many times have you heard…

• “You got this!”
• “Your loved one is so lucky to have you.”
• “Cathy, I don’t know what I would do without you,” my mom would say.
• Or, “How do you do it all? You are unbelievable.”

It may feel good to hear this, but deep inside, you are wilting. You are a mess. You are so over your head.

Self-confidence plays a crucial role in our lives as caregivers, impacting our ability to provide care effectively and maintain our well-being. Caregiver false confidence is when we believe we can manage all aspects of caregiving without help or set unrealistic expectations for ourselves. It’s a mix of mindset, personality traits, and external influences.

When I became a new caregiver back in 2017, I never stopped to look at anything. I just jumped in and took it on. I was working, running a direct sales business, training for a half marathon, along with managing my personal relationships and home life.

I think that’s completely normal. But there are factors that contribute to false confidence.

Mindset

A caregiver with a fixed mindset believes that their abilities and skills are inherent and unchangeable. They think things cannot be significantly improved or adapted over time. They believe they can handle all caregiving challenges, seeing their skills as static and unchangeable, rather than something that can be developed through learning and experience.

They avoid help and additional resources because asking for help might feel like an admission of failure or inadequacy. They often fear failing because it would imply a lack of inherent ability. This leads to stress and anxiety as they strive to manage everything perfectly on their own.

Behaviors of a Caregiver with a Fixed Mindset include:

• Overestimation of Capabilities
• Resistance to Learning
• Reluctance to Delegate
• Perfectionism

They may strive for perfection in their caregiving duties to prove their sufficiency,...

Hey there, fellow caregiver! If you're reading this, chances are you're juggling a million things at once and feeling the weight of the world on your shoulders. I get it because I've been there too. Today, I want to share a simple yet powerful habit that has helped me find some much-needed relief and joy in my caregiving journey. It's called the "I'm so done with _______ and I'm so ready for ________" habit.

The Birth of a New Habit

Inspired by a segment I recently heard on Hoda and Jenna's show, I found myself nodding along as they shared their "I'm so done with..." lists. It struck a chord with me. As caregivers, we often carry around a lot of frustrations, worries, and pent-up emotions. Sometimes, we just need to let it all out. That's where this habit comes in.

Why It Works

1. Cathartic Release: Listing what you're "so done with" allows you to vent and acknowledge your frustrations without guilt or shame. It's like giving yourself permission to feel all those emotions you've been bottling up.

2. Positive Focus: Shifting to what you're "so ready for" helps redirect your energy towards positive change. It's about envisioning a better, more balanced future.

3. Empowerment: This habit gives you a sense of control. While there are many aspects of caregiving we can't change, identifying and focusing on the things we can influence helps us feel empowered.

How to Get Started

1. Find a Quiet Moment: Carve out some time for yourself. Grab a cup of coffee, sit in your favorite chair, and let your thoughts flow.

2. Write It Down: Start with "I'm so done with...". List everything that comes to mind. It could be the small annoyances like waiting in exam rooms or bigger challenges like dealing with the emotional toll of caregiving.

3. Shift to the Positive: After you've vented, move on to "I'm so ready for...". Think about what you want to embrace or change. It could be as simple as making more time for yourself or as ambitious as finding new ways to manage stress.

...

Hey there, fellow caregivers!

In this week's episode of Caregiver Cup Podcast, we delved deep into a topic that's near and dear to my heart: navigating ruminating thoughts on the caregiving journey. I shared my personal experiences and insights on how to transform those moments of dread into determination, and I wanted to expand on that in this blog post.

From Dread to Determination: My Journey

I woke up one Friday morning dreading the day ahead. Negative thoughts were swirling in my mind, and I couldn't shake the feeling of impending doom. My spouse, Denis, had an oncology appointment scheduled, and despite having been through similar appointments countless times before, this one felt different.

As I walked my dogs, trying to process my thoughts and mood, I realized there was more to my dread than just the appointment itself. It wasn't just the fear of bad news or uncertainty about Denis' health that weighed on me—it was something deeper.

After some introspection, I uncovered the root cause of my unease: my dissatisfaction with Denis' oncologist. While the doctor was undoubtedly qualified and provided good care, I struggled to connect with him. His communication style lacked empathy, and I often felt dismissed or unheard during appointments.

Despite Denis being content with the doctor, I knew I needed to find a way to advocate effectively for his care without letting my personal feelings cloud my judgment. That's when I turned to three key practices that have helped me navigate ruminating thoughts and transform dread into determination.

1. Acknowledge and Process

Acknowledging and processing my emotions was the first step in reclaiming control over my thoughts. Instead of pushing aside my feelings of frustration and resentment towards the doctor, I allowed myself to sit with them, understanding their root causes and how they were impacting my mindset.

2. Visualization

Visualization became my secret weapon in facing daunting situations head-on....

Hey there, beautiful soul! Today, let's dive deep into a topic close to every caregiver's heart: finding your secret sauce to conquer those pesky negative thoughts and reclaim your joy. As someone who's been on this journey myself, I get it. It's not always sunshine and rainbows, but trust me, there's a way to sprinkle a little magic into each day.

You know those moments when you're feeling on top of the world? Take a second to celebrate those. What's working? What have you been doing differently? Maybe it's a heart-to-heart chat with a friend, a quiet moment of journaling, or simply basking in the warmth of the sun during a brisk walk. Whatever it is, it's your own special blend of joy boosters.

But let's be real, there's no one-size-fits-all solution here. Oh, how I wish we could just get a prescription for happiness! But alas, life doesn't work that way. Instead, we have to rely on our own intuition, listening closely to the whispers of our body and mind.

Think of it as a grand experiment, my friend. What works for you might not work for someone else, and that's okay. It's all about exploring, experimenting, and taking note of what brings a sparkle to your eye.

I remember when I was in my late 40s and early 50s, diving into health and fitness. Running became my sanctuary, a place to clear my mind and nourish my soul. But then life threw me a curveball. Suddenly, my days were filled with caregiving duties, and running just wasn't feasible anymore. So, I had to pivot, to explore new avenues of self-care that fit into my new reality.

And let me tell you, those negative thoughts? They're like pesky mosquitoes, buzzing around, trying to steal your joy. But here's the secret: you have the power to swat them away. It starts with a moment of pause, a gentle inquiry into what's really going on.

Maybe it's a drive to clear your head, or a quiet moment on the patio with a cup of tea. Whatever it is, give yourself the gift of time to breathe, to journal, to...