I'm now 4 years into my caregiving journey.  As I look back I see 4 stages I went through and want to share these with you:  

Stage 1: THE NEW STAGE.  

• The initial news fills you with shock, disbelief and all those emotions
• Then you jump in telling yourself I’ll do whatever it takes. I’ll figure it out
• Here’s where I became obsessed with google - searching anything and everything about your loved one’s condition.  
• You form your team - doctors, nurse navigators, family support, etc
• You try to figure out the who advocacy stuff 
• You're taking care of your loved one
• This stage is focused on the NOW, the NEW and just figuring it out.  
• You just want to get going on your loved one’s care
• You are putting your needs to the side

Stage 2:  ROUTINE OR SETTLING IN STAGE.   

• Things have now become routine somewhat
• You're trying to figure out how to balance work, home, caregiving
• Workload and to do list is...

Each morning about 6:30, I put on my walking shoes and grab my ear buds for my 2-3 miles walk.  One particular thing this week got me.    I kept nodding my head and walking faster and faster.  My head was spinning when listening to a new podcast.   I couldn’t wait to get home to grab a piece of paper and write down my thoughts.  

I love podcasts that feed my soul with inspiration, self-help and self-development and ones that are just plain fun too.   Podcast listening is my jam when I am walking or working in my garden or getting ready in the morning.    

Ok… what was I listening to? I am trying to level up and be a better speaker.  It was my newest podcast that I recently added to favs.  My new mentor and speaking coach - The Heather Saeger show.  It was one from way back on Jan 6 where she interviewed Anna Nelson about Unlock a new level in your business using your superpower. ...

Lisa Allarid was faced with huge adversity and a new normal  in December of 2018 when her husband was diagnosed with Stage 4 Chronic Kidney Disease.  She's a mom of 4 and works in the finance industry. 

She had to learn about kidney disease, nutrition, and how the donor system works.  

Lisa also shares how she stopped taking care of herself, going out with friends and really hitting rock bottom before she realized the importance of her needs.  

You will find some amazing golden nuggets about half way through the interview when Lisa shares how she is embracing her new normal by knowing what type of caregiver she is., what her strengths are, and what her weaknesses are. 

As she is growing and figuring out how to be a better caregiver and most importantly a better person to herself, she is expressing what she needs.  She's a beautiful role model and teaching her children the true meaning of love and...

This is a behind-the-scene (fun) episode where I asked my accountability partners record an episode.  Each week, I meet with Amy and Naomi.  The weekly accountability meetings are for us to share our success, challenges and to ask questions and provide support.  Little did I know a year ago that we would become close friends.

Thursday nights have become part of my self-care.  These amazing ladies listen to my challenges without judgement, cheer me on when I find joy and success and pick me up.   I have also been able to give back to them and have seen my confidence grow. 

I encourage you to find your "group".   It took a little courage to put a post out in a group on Facebook.  It was well worth the fear.  You are welcome to  post in The Caregiver Cup Podcast Online Community 

If you are in the Meeting and Event Planning field, check out Naomi Tucker at https://plannersonpurpose.com/

If you are looking for a...

Only when you first help yourselves can you effectively help others. Caring for yourself is one of the most important—and one of the most often forgotten—things you can do as a caregiver. When your needs are taken care of, the person you care for will benefit.

How do you do this?  You have to create the foundation to succeed  Creating a foundation to be that effective caregiver.    

What is foundation / framework?
What about your health and vitality?

You can’t rely on your own personal discipline

What would the ideal environment be to ensure you are effective today? 

 If your productivity or motivation is not there?

Think about what infrastructures are you lacking?   What things can I put in place that helps me be a better version of myself and a better caregiver?  

The second is your strategy or asset to your caregiving:  Y_O _U    Yes,  taking care of yourself.  

I know, it...

There are two ways you become a caregiver:  

The first I call the creeper.   Maybe you can think of a better word…..    

1.  Caregiving often creeps up on you.  

It may start with dropping by your mom’s house and doing her laundry or taking your dad to a doctor’s appointment.  You find yourself doing the grocery shopping or refilling prescriptions.  Gradually, you are doing more and more.  At some point, you realize you have a commitment to take care of someone else

I can relate with my Mom aging.  Soon she won’t be driving. 

Or for others 

2.  The Sudden Event

Sometimes caregiving is triggered by a major health event, such as a stroke, heart attack, or accident.  Maybe you suddenly realize that dad’s memory lapses have become dangerous.  

The Sudden Events for me was my spouse showing me lumps in his groin area and under his arms.  We...

As I was prepping for this podcast,  I went back to a dark day in 2018.   I didn’t want to get out of bed, I called in sick from my 9-5 job and actually lied about being sick.   I just wanted to get in the car and drive away.  How far could I go before anyone noticed? I seriously wanted to run away from my life.  

That day I did go for a drive.  I spent that day really figuring out where I was.  I had to face reality.  I had to accept my new normal, grieve my old life and move forward.   It was a huge tipping point for me. 

It is hard to face this reality , but truth is, you have to hear it .  You have to take that step forward.

I have a free handout for you.  This is what I wrote out that day.  Go to www. cathylvan.com/newnormal 

Now it’s not the magical potion or a solution, but it helped me shift my thoughts and emotions to make the best of the situation and get that positive mindset...