Reflecting on the year gone by is not just an exercise in nostalgia; it's a powerful caregiver practice that enables personal growth and resilience. In the latest episode of the Caregiver Cup podcast, we delve into the intimate journey of reflecting on the past year's experiences, both the highs and lows, and how they can inform our caregiver path moving forward.

I share my moments of pride such as setting a retirement date and maintaining podcast consistency. You can see the transformative power of positivity and the importance of celebrating even the smallest successes. These personal stories are not only relatable but also serve as inspiration to journal your own triumphs and to cherish the memories that have made a lasting impact.

Throughout the episode, I share thought-provoking questions that serve to uncover areas of personal growth and the often overlooked moments of joy that arise from regular self-care practices. By guiding you through a reflective practice, the episode underscores the importance of introspection in understanding our patterns and behaviors as caregivers. It's a process that acknowledges our need for self-care and emotional attentiveness, something that can easily be lost in the demands of caregiving.

The episode also covers the necessity of confronting the challenges faced throughout the year. Instead of dwelling on the negative, we're encouraged to recognize patterns, understand what may have been overlooked, and identify opportunities for growth. It's about taking an honest look at the year, acknowledging what it was, and using this understanding to move forward with intention and clarity.

In addition to reflection, we discuss practical strategies for simplifying life and embracing self-improvement. I share tips on decluttering, creating schedules, and finding new ways to stay connected with friends and loved ones. The discussion extends to finding joy in new hobbies and connections, emphasizing that change can come from...

 Just when you think you have it figured out, a challenging day or week brings on added anxiety and stress.  

I brought my Mom home from bronchoscopy procedure.  The day started with a 5:30am check in, followed by all the vital checks, medical questions, pre-op meetings with the surgeon, anesthesiologists and surgical nurses.  Mom was poked 3 times before her IV worked, her oxygen levels dropped to 86 and was weak and dizzy after.   This lung cancer journey will be a big hurdle for her.  

Finally at noon, she was able to go home and I tucked her in bed.  Doctor's took their samples and we should hear in a few days, they said.   I locked Mom's door to her apartment and would check on her later. 

I jumped back in the car in the parking garage of her apartment and just totally lost it.  The tears just came and I sobbed like a baby.  The stresses of the day were bubbling up and the car was the perfect place to let it all out.   

I felt good about the day. 

• I shared my concerns and baselines with the anesthesiologists, talked to the nurses after two attempts at the IV, and asked my questions to the pulmonologist.   
• I kept hydrated, had a good breakfast, and had my "grab and go" bag.  
• I video texted my brother throughout. 

But why did I feel the anxiety and stress?   

Reality is that there are tons and tons of variables which play into your stressors and anxiety:  atmosphere, people, your love one (illness, injury, mood), your mood, outside distractions, frustrations and more. 

Dr Roderick Logan from Arizona Trauma Institute shared a You Tube presentation where he uses a water bottle to demonstrate the need for resilience to overcome stress and compassion fatigue in the workplace and personal life.   When the water bottle of stress and anxiety are full and you shake the...

Before caregiving,  I was very active.   I went to the gym 5-6 days a week.  Prior to my Dad and Spouse getting their cancer diagnosis in Sept 2017, I was training for my 9th half marathon.  

It was a habit and routine I stuck with since I felt better.  I watched what I ate.  Don’t get me wrong, there were days I didn’t want to get up and move my body.  But when I did, I was happier.   

Then Sept 2017 came and I thought I didn’t have time.  I told myself I was too tired.

By Summer of 2019, I was 30 pounds heavier.  I had digestive issues and was clinically depressed.  I looked in the mirror at me and decided enough was enough.  

I knew I had to move each day.  It was hard to start again.  I knew what to do but breaking the caregiver life routine without exercise was harder than I could ever imagine.  

But I'm working on moving 20 minutes each day.   Even with the pandemic, I knew I could still move.

What about you?   Can you find just 20 minutes each day?   YOU Can.  You have to!!!  It’s just 20.    

Let’s talk about what you and I can do in these 20 minutes.  It has to be fun or you won’t stay with it.  If you hate running - don’t run.  But if you don’t mind walking - walk.  

• Walk and make it fun by putting on your ear buds and listening to your favorite music or a podcast.  Walk with a friend.  Take the dog for a walk.  Find a trail or window shop downtown
• Take a bike ride.  Last summer I would schedule my break time and go for a bike ride.  
• What about Yoga?
• Dance in the kitchen.
• Get on an Elliptical orTreadmill and catch up with your favorite show.
• Dumbbells are a quick and easy way to tone. 
• Vacuuming and cleaning will get you moving.  
• Gardening and yard work count too.

It’s just about getting your heart rate...

How many articles have you read?  How many times have people told you?  "Make sure you take care of yourself."  The struggle is real and it's easier said than done.

You know you need to be healthy and strong to be the best Caregiver, the best Wife, the best Boss, the best Co-worker and more.  If you are like me, putting yourself first is a struggle with feelings of guilt and shame.  

The flight attendant demonstrates the oxygen mask and says, in the event of an emergency you need to put yours on first before putting it on others.   Others will say you can't  pour from an empty cup.

So why do most women break this rule resulting in exhaustion, health issues, stress, and anxiety?   I believe some of it is because of learned habits, experiences and stereotypes.   

If you think about you as a young girl, you most likely developed nurturing and caregiving skills through watching your Mom, Grandma or a female role model.  Then add your experiences of babysitting, taking care of a siblings, doing maternal chores and/or through school activities.  Maybe this sparked other relatable experiences.  It sure it for me.  

 As you grew into a young lady and woman, you continued to learn new skills, grew your identity and personality.   Your nurturing skills took on a new look with that special someone in your life that you eventually married.   Children, nieces, and/or nephews welcomed in a whole new phase of caregiving.  

I found a statement in the book - As Cancer Strikes by Habil Nagag

 "Many woman have been conditioned to strive for this ideal caregiver role.  But many struggle to maintain a picture of the themselves.   If you take responsibility for your spouse's feelings, activities, and his life, he will become dependent and you will become resentful."

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