Ways to reduce and manage your stress and anxiety

 Just when you think you have it figured out, a challenging day or week brings on added anxiety and stress.  

I brought my Mom home from bronchoscopy procedure.  The day started with a 5:30am check in, followed by all the vital checks, medical questions, pre-op meetings with the surgeon, anesthesiologists and surgical nurses.  Mom was poked 3 times before her IV worked, her oxygen levels dropped to 86 and was weak and dizzy after.   This lung cancer journey will be a big hurdle for her.  

Finally at noon, she was able to go home and I tucked her in bed.  Doctor's took their samples and we should hear in a few days, they said.   I locked Mom's door to her apartment and would check on her later. 

I jumped back in the car in the parking garage of her apartment and just totally lost it.  The tears just came and I sobbed like a baby.  The stresses of the day were bubbling up and the car was the perfect place to let it all out.   

I felt good about the day. 

• I shared my concerns and baselines with the anesthesiologists, talked to the nurses after two attempts at the IV, and asked my questions to the pulmonologist.   
• I kept hydrated, had a good breakfast, and had my "grab and go" bag.  
• I video texted my brother throughout. 

But why did I feel the anxiety and stress?   

Reality is that there are tons and tons of variables which play into your stressors and anxiety:  atmosphere, people, your love one (illness, injury, mood), your mood, outside distractions, frustrations and more. 

Dr Roderick Logan from Arizona Trauma Institute shared a You Tube presentation where he uses a water bottle to demonstrate the need for resilience to overcome stress and compassion fatigue in the workplace and personal life.   When the water bottle of stress and anxiety are full and you shake the bottle, your will spill the water.  You may not be able to stop the shaking but you can control the amount of water in the bottle.  

How do your reduce anxiety:  

1. Stay in your time zone by only focusing on the present.  
2. Relabel what's happening by restating what is happening today and not focusin on what could happen.  
3. Fact-check your thoughts by asking why you are feeling anxiety
4. Breathe in and out
5. Follow the 3-3-3 rule.  Look at 3 things and tell yourself what they are.  Then hear 3 things and tell yourself what you hear.  
6. Just do something.  You may have to walk across the room or throw something in the trash or stretch.  Movement is key
7. Stand up straight and take a deep breath.  
8. Stay away from sugar or caffeine which can trigger anxiety.  
9. Ask for a second opinion.  Share your experiences with a therapist, friend, support group or doctor.  
10. Watch a funny video or music.  

Tips to manage your stress:  

1. Exercise with a daily routine or practice.
2. Relax your muscles through stretching, a hot bath or shower a massage or a good night sleep.
3. Deep breathing practices daily
4. Eat well by staying hydrated, meal planning and a conscious effort to fuel your body.  
5. Slow down and focus on what really needs to get done each day. 
6. Take your break and plan some real downtime off from stress with meditation, yoga, prayer spending time in nature or listening to music.  
7. Make time for hobbies.   You need time for things you enjoy.  Even 10-15 minutes can relax you.  
8. Talk about your problems to lower stress with a friend, trusted clergyman, doctor or therapist
9. Go easy on yourself and grant yourself grace.  Stop thinking you can do it all.
10. Eliminate your triggers.  Figure out what the biggest causes of your stress and work on ways to reduce it.  

Identify which caregiver stress stage you are in.  You can then make adjustments and find ways to reduce and manage it.  

You can then start setting healthy boundaries or what I like to call self-love boundaries.  Remember the goal is to find joy in your journey and take care of yourself.