Navigating the intricacies of caregiving for individuals with Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) is no small feat. It's a journey that requires an abundance of empathy, patience, and resilience. This delicate subject is at the forefront of our latest podcast episode, where I take you through the personal odyssey as a caregiver to family members grappling with NPD.

The complexities of NPD stretch far beyond the superficial traits of vanity and arrogance. The disorder is deeply rooted in genetics, early childhood experiences, and societal influences. My candid narration delves into the draining effects of friendships marked by narcissism and draws insightful parallels between understanding dementia and NPD. This highlights the importance of recognizing the multifaceted nature of the disorder.

My experiences emphasize the emotional toll caregiving can take, particularly when the person being cared for exhibits manipulative tendencies and a lack of empathy. I bravely shares anecdotes that illustrate the key traits of narcissism and discusses the vital role of understanding these behaviors to effectively manage caregiving responsibilities. Moreover, I share the impact of NPD on relationships, noting how it can overshadow even the most loving connections.

When considering the causes of NPD, the discussion shifts to personal anecdotes about friends whose narcissism was draining and the cultural soil from which such traits may arise. Parenting styles, such as overindulgence and helicopter parenting, are scrutinized for their potential role in fostering narcissistic tendencies. Then I reflect on how understanding the disorder's roots can lead to more effective management and foster empathy—a crucial element for caregivers.

As the episode progresses, you'll get practical advice for dealing with someone with NPD, emphasizing the necessity of boundary-setting and self-care, offering a beacon of...

Just when you think you have it figured out, there is a challenging day, week or urgent situation that happens.  Reality is that there are tons and tons of variables which play into your stressors and anxiety:  atmosphere, people, your love one (illness, injury, mood), your mood, outside distractions, frustrations and more. 

Dr Roderick Logan from Arizona Trauma Institute shared a You Tube presentation where he uses a water bottle to demonstrate the need for resilience to overcome stress and compassion fatigue in the workplace and personal life.   

How to reduce or stop feeling anxious, referenced WebMD

1. Stay in your time zone
2. Relabel what's happening
3. Fact-check your thoughts
4. Breathe in and out
5. Follow the 3-3-3 rule
6. Just do something
7. Stand up straight
8. Stay away from sugar
9. Ask for a second opinion
10. Watch a funny video or music

Tips to manage stress, referenced WebMD

1. Exercise
2. Relax your muscles
3. Deep breathing
4. Eat well
5. Slow down
6. Take a break
7. Make time for hobbies
8. Talk about your problems
9. Go easy on yourself
10. Eliminate your triggers

Identify which caregiver stress stage you are in.  You can then make adjustments and find ways to reduce and manage it.  

You can then start setting healthy boundaries or what I like to call self-love boundaries.  Remember the goal is to find joy in your journey and take care of yourself.  

Navigating the responsibilities of caregiving can often leave one feeling like they're caught in a relentless storm, with demands that pour down incessantly. Yet, as I've learned through the personal journey of managing my mother's care post-lung cancer treatments, there exists an 'umbrella' capable of providing protection against this downpour—healthy boundaries.

Caregiving is inherently a role that comes with an intricate web of emotional and physical demands. The metamorphosis of a relationship from familial to one where care is central can result in a burden that, if not managed with healthy boundaries, leads to burnout and excessive stress. This episode is not just a recount of my own experiences but a universal call to caregivers to erect protective barriers to preserve their wellbeing.

Establishing boundaries goes beyond the mere concept of saying no; it encompasses the entire gambit of personal well-being. This includes protecting one's time, emotional energy, values, and even compassion reserves. The art of setting these boundaries is not inherent—it requires thoughtful assessment, clear communication, and at times, the courage to disappoint for the sake of one's health.

Communicating boundaries can be challenging, especially within the dynamics of a family. Take, for instance, coordinating medical appointments with siblings or managing the influx of visitors who wish to see a loved one. These scenarios necessitate clear expectations, the judicious use of communication tools like shared calendars, and an understanding of the legal aspects of caregiving, such as HIPAA laws.

The Empowerful Caregiver School offers resources to deepen one's understanding of setting boundaries. It emphasizes that respect and support are not just what we provide to our loved ones but are also ours to claim. In essence, this episode is a heartfelt guide to help caregivers navigate the storm with their 'umbrella' of boundaries firmly in hand.

The podcast...

Are you burning out?  
Are you exhausted, fatigued, or just plain tired?
What’s your stress level? 
What about your anxiety level?
Are you sad or depressed?

How do you feel about your health?  Are you taking care of yourself?  Are you losing weight?  Or are you gaining weight?  

These are just a few symptoms of caregiver stress and caregiver burnout?  

I want to talk today about the ONE thing you can do.  The ONE thing you can take control of.  

I'm here to give you some tough love and hard talk.  

It’s time . Let me say it again.  It’s time.  Time to move!   

I'm here to tell you that you have to move.  

You have to even if you don’t feel like it.  Even if you're tired.  Even if you don’t think you have time.  

Start small -  just 20 minutes a day is all you need.   Or even if it’s 15 minutes.  

A study from Harvard says:   “Exercising as little as 15 minutes of physical activity a day can increase your life span by 3 years." 

Here’s another stat from caregiver.org and the Family Caregiver Alliance:  35% of female caregivers report high levels of stress.  Those symptoms go from headaches to high blood pressure to weight gain.  

Think of movement and exercise as an outlet.  A place to go to recharge, think and take care of yourself

Let me share my story.   

Pre-caregiving, I was very active.   I went to the gym 5-6 days a week.  Prior to my Dad and Spouse getting their cancer diagnosis in Sept 2017, I was training for my 9th half marathon.  

It was a habit and routine I stuck with since I felt better.  I watched what I ate.  Don’t get me wrong, there were days I didn’t want to get up and move my body.  But when I did, I was happier.   

Then Sept 2017 came and I thought I didn’t have time. ...

Let me get real honest and raw with you today.  This podcast was hard to prepare for and it’s even harder to share.  This podcast is all about people pleasing.  Why you say - I am a people pleaser and I should really have my own club or group.  

Are you saying, Yes too.  Or are you saying No, I am not a people pleaser

Well, my friend, I have three quick statements before we begin.

• We all have people pleasing tendencies
• People pleasing isn’t all bad 
• But… people pleasing can lead to stress and burnout especially if you are a caregiver.  

Before we deep dive into this topic, I have something really excited to share with you! It’s a Quiz.  This one is very different.   It’s not one asking you what character you are or what color or animal you are…..  It’s truly about caregiving with very, very informative results.  It’s call What’s your Caregiver Style?  You can take this FREE quiz today by going to cathylvan.com or going to The Caregiver Cup on Facebook or @cathylynnvan on Instagram.  It takes less than 3 minutes and you will get very in-depth and informative results to help you think through your caregiver responsibilities.  

Let’s now dig into  People Pleasing.   

As a caregiver, Your Loved One is your top priority.   You open your heart, soul and energy to go beyond simple kindness to give to them everything they need and want.    

Pleasing might not sound all that bad.  After all, what’s wrong with loving and being nice to your Loved One and making them happy?  You do whatever it takes meaning you make sacrifices with little to no complaints.  

You go out of your way to do things for them based on what you assume they want and need.  You give up your time and energy.

The urge to please them can be rewarding to you, but...