I had the pleasure of chatting with Amanda Millemon.  Here are a few notes I captured in our conversation.   

I looked really deep into my eyes and said to myself in the mirror -   you finally did it.  

I looked again and said - you finally did it. It felt good to say.  At the time I thought you finally got moved in, out of the situation but now looking back.- those words meant more - I finally did something for you.

Up to that point it was taking care of everything and doing everything for everyone else.  And I hadn’t taken the time to look deep in my soul and ask myself - what do I really want to be happy?. 

Being a special needs mom.   Caring for her over the years.  Doing what was best for her.  Finding a partner for her that would be a good parent for her.  I hadn’t taken the time to really look at myself.   For the first time I made a choice of self love.  It didn't happen overnight.  It took a lot of self-reflection to realize to do something that matters in myself.   You can’t pour from an empty cup.  It’s time for you and time to take care of myself. 

On the subject of feeling guilty. we think it has to be one or the other.  It’s ok to have those feelings but you can do both (caregiving, taking care of yourself).   You can’t give to your loved one 100% of the time.  

The reality of caregiving is always juggling schedules, ensuring their needs are met and how am I going to get my needs met and things done. 

 In a caregiving family, there’s always one person that has to make sacrifices.  It’s your new reality.    You usually grieve the life you had or think you had.  Once you come to the acceptance, you then can create a new reality.  Then work with what you have and accept  that’s what life has handed...