I'm now 4 years into my caregiving journey.  As I look back I see 4 stages I went through and want to share these with you:  

Stage 1: THE NEW STAGE.  

• The initial news fills you with shock, disbelief and all those emotions
• Then you jump in telling yourself I’ll do whatever it takes. I’ll figure it out
• Here’s where I became obsessed with google - searching anything and everything about your loved one’s condition.  
• You form your team - doctors, nurse navigators, family support, etc
• You try to figure out the who advocacy stuff 
• You're taking care of your loved one
• This stage is focused on the NOW, the NEW and just figuring it out.  
• You just want to get going on your loved one’s care
• You are putting your needs to the side

Stage 2:  ROUTINE OR SETTLING IN STAGE.   

• Things have now become routine somewhat
• You're trying to figure out how to balance work, home, caregiving
• Workload and to do list is bigger
• Fatigue is usually setting in
• Stress is increasing
• You start feeling stretched
• You may find yourself doing things alone
• You and your loved one are more comfortable with your team (doctors, nurses, help)
• You and your loved one are more comfortable with the clinic, labs, treatments, etc
• You become more of an expert with your loved one’s condition
• You're more comfortable with caregiving
• There are good days and bad days
• Your nutrition and self-care looks different

Stage 3:  AWARENESS AND REALITY or as I call it the LIGHT BULB GOES ON

• Caregiving is taking its toll on your health both physically and mentally
• It affects your relationships
• You may be struggling with finances
• You may not see it or may not want to admit it yet - you may want to run from it.
• You realize you can’t do it all and shouldn’t have taken this all on yourself
• You hope it will go away
• Caregiving becomes a burden
• Wishing for your old life
• Realizing that you're stuck, stretched and overwhelmed...

There are two ways you become a caregiver:  

The first I call the creeper.   Maybe you can think of a better word…..    

1.  Caregiving often creeps up on you.  

It may start with dropping by your mom’s house and doing her laundry or taking your dad to a doctor’s appointment.  You find yourself doing the grocery shopping or refilling prescriptions.  Gradually, you are doing more and more.  At some point, you realize you have a commitment to take care of someone else

I can relate with my Mom aging.  Soon she won’t be driving. 

Or for others 

2.  The Sudden Event

Sometimes caregiving is triggered by a major health event, such as a stroke, heart attack, or accident.  Maybe you suddenly realize that dad’s memory lapses have become dangerous.  

The Sudden Events for me was my spouse showing me lumps in his groin area and under his arms.  We made an appointment and it all started.  Another -   It was that phone call from my parents saying that Dad’s needs an endoscopy because his CT scans showed an enlarged pancreas and spots on his liver.  Another,  it was taking my husband for knee surgery and getting the instructions of care.

Life as you know it stops, and all your energy goes to caring for your loved one.  Caregiving has become your new career, and you adjust to a new normal.  

We as caregivers are spouses, partners, adult children, parents, other relatives, siblings, aunts, nieces, nephews, in-laws, grandchildren, friends, and neighbors.    Did I miss any - if I did, drop me a DM @cathylynnvan on IG or on my business page on FB at The Caregiver Cup.  

Whatever your relationship with the person, you’re caring for, it’s important that you add the title CAREGIVER to the list of things you are.  Without identifying yourself as a...