Diana Winkler is a singer songwriter and I'm an abuse advocate.  She uses music as one of my healing tools and facilitates Meaning The Soul healing groups.  She is also a podcaster of the Wound of the Faithful Podcast.

She is married to her husband, Brain for 11 years who struggles with severe ulcerative colitis.  Diana is very transparent about her own health struggles with memory loss too.  

In my interview, I ask Diana to share her everyday schedule.  She is figuring it out by juggling her schedule, pursuing her passions and finding time for herself.  

I ask Diana to unpack her caregiving journey.  She shares her spouse’s 10 year journey with ulcerative colitis, from the initial diagnosis,  remission and through the pandemic.  She talks about the stressors of his disease and how it impacts her as a caregiver.  

She shares her gratitude of both being able to work from home but also the stress there too.  

As a caregiver, Diana has had to be that advocate for her spouse's healthcare too.  She has a strong persistence to make sure her Loved One gets the best possible care.  

Then, we shift the interview on Diana and I ask her to share the pressure, stress and anxiety caregiving puts on her.  She shares the added responsibilities she takes on now that her spouse can’t do.  The grocery and meal planning needed.  

I appreciated Diana’s stories of where she lets the little things fall.  As caregivers we may need to just do that.  

Our conversation then led to the frustrations felt as a caregiver.  I am grateful she share this and then her awareness of her situation.  She knows that the disease is what she is most frustrated about, no her spouse.  

To end the interview, Diana and I talked about “filling our cups”.   She shares what really works for her - from her hobbies to martial arts to gardening.  

...

You're a busy woman caregiver who feels pressured to be able to do it all,  juggling your career, family, caregiving, managing the household and more.

Superwoman Syndrome is exactly what it says it is - trying to be Superwoman. And more often than not, you're feeling overworked, overwhelmed and overly committed. You're also exhausted, anxious and stressed.  But don't worry - you are not alone.

According to Dr. Madeline Ann Lewis, co-author of Overcoming the Superwoman Syndrome, some of us wear this imaginary cape because we:

• Want to be the good, little girl
• Have a tendency towards people-pleasing
• Seek attention
• Want to feel like you can do it all
• You cannot say no to others
• To feel accomplished
• Have low self-esteem
• Strive for perfection

The Superwoman is also a good person, duty oriented, very responsible and truly desires to do what is right.

Symptoms of superwoman syndrome and caregiver burnout:  

• Bouts of irritability
• Inability to sleep or excessive sleep
• Memory issues
• Muscle tension
• Anxiety
• Sweating when not physically active
• Inability to concentrate
• General aches and pains

 It’s important to be aware of what your body is trying to tell you.  Aspiring to a level of perfectionism that is not attainable and sacrificing your well-being consistently will inevitably lead you down the path to caregiver stress, burnout and eventually fatigue.   It may rob you of your joy.  

Accumulated stress opens the door to a multitude of health issues, including early aging, heart disease, diabetes, obesity and gastrointestinal conditions. 

So it’s time to take off that costume and cape.  

When you recognize that superwoman syndrome or caregiver burnout is present in your caregiver life, it’s time to.  Shed that costume, untie that cape and figure out ways to overcome this.   

First and foremost it’s not easy to admit that you can’t do it all.  You don’t need to...

When life thrusts us into the role of a caregiver, the transformation we undergo can be as profound as it is challenging. Tracy Donaldson's story is a testament to this transformation. A seasoned HR professional and former corporate VP, Tracy found herself navigating the dual roles of caring for her mother and spouse while simultaneously undergoing a personal journey of self-discovery and growth.

Tracy's candid recount of her experiences sheds light on the complexities of caregiving. She speaks of the early signs that care is needed, the emotional weight of responsibility, and the practicalities of managing day-to-day logistics. This resonates with many who find themselves in similar situations—juggling the roles of caregiver, professional, and individual with personal needs.

Self-care emerges as a recurring theme throughout the episode. Tracy's personal anecdote serves as a poignant reminder that taking care of oneself is not indulgent but essential. As she shares her strategies—meditation, exercise, and staying connected with friends—it becomes clear that these practices aren't just coping mechanisms; they are lifelines that sustain caregivers through their demanding roles.

The podcast also delves into the family dynamics at play in caregiving situations. Each family member brings unique contributions, strengths, and weaknesses to the table. Tracy's own experiences with her siblings highlight the importance of recognizing and utilizing these individual differences. The conversation goes further to discuss the decision to enroll her mother in an adult day program, a move aimed at improving her socialization and mental health, illustrating the continuous adaptation required in caregiving.

An important aspect of Tracy's journey is the guilt often associated with balancing the care of loved ones and personal time. It's a common struggle for caregivers who constantly weigh their responsibilities against their own well-being. The podcast...

Happy New Year!  It’s Cathy Here!

I 'm recording this episode on January 1, 2021.  It’s  a new year.  I know a lot of us are happy to say good-bye to 2020.   

As a country and world, we faced challenges that we never thought we would ever face.  The pandemic changed our lives.  

• Did you have to change the way you worked?  
• Did you have to change the way you shopped?
• Did you have to change the way you connected with your family and friends?
• Did you have to change the way you took care of your loved one?  
• Did you change yourself personally?
• Did you take on any new routines?  

2020 taught me to NOT take things for granted.   Hugs from my family, celebrations

It taught me how to enjoy the little things.   Facetime chats, videos, board games

It taught me it’s ok to sit quiet.   I journaled more than ever

It taught me to take advantage of the situation.   I thought about my purpose

In October 2020, I started my podcast The Caregiver Wife.  I wanted to share my experiences, lessons learned and more with other Caregivers.  So I paid for a digital course and within a month, I was on air.   I have met some pretty amazing women who share their hardships, their courage and most importantly how they figure things out in their new normal as a Caregiver.

I heard the story of Dana, whose spouse is bedridden from a car accident.  They have been married for 15 years and have 4 children.  Life changed when she got the call.  She had to figure out how to work and take car of her husband.  She learned that reaching out for resource is key for her.  She has a nurse coming in 2 days a week to help with bathing and care.  She also has a physical therapist 2 times a week.  She now has all her groceries, pharmacy and essentials delivered to her home.   She is continuing to find ways to time manage better....

Friend, you’re in for a real treat today with my guest, Esther Mbabzi.  She’s an oncology nurse with tons of passion, stories and amazing advice for you.   

I love how Esther shares experiences with her patients and their Caregivers when they are in the toughest parts of their life and the reality of the situation..

Esther lives in Norway and in addition to working in oncology, she is creating a digital course for Caregivers of spouses with colon cancer.  The course’s purpose is to guide caregivers from the moment diagnosed and show them how to walk from within.   She focuses first on the Caregiver’s mindset before all else.   You can find more information and a free spousal care guide at https://arisehaven.com

In this podcast conversation, you’ll hear 

• Personal stories reinforcing that everyone is different and handles crises differently,
• What the caregiver wife needs to know and do, and 
• Great advice on the things you can control and things outside of your control.  

>> I have three key takeaways:

1. Eshter’s hope for Caregivers:  “My hope is realization.  It’s a progress.  You have to go through it step by step until you realize it’s your new normal.  
2. Your number one priority when your spouse is diagnosed with cancer is your own self-care, not your spouse.   A tired caregiver is no good to anyone.  
3. Caregivers always say that they lose contact with others.  Reasons are that people don’t know what to say to you.  They think you are busy or taking a nap.  They think you will reach out to them when you need help.  So it’s you that has to stay connected.  

One of my favorite additions to The Caregiver Wife Podcast is the interviews with caregiver wives.  Each woman has a unique with a  different story.  Each diverse story that’s shared is a way for listeners to gain insights, motivation, inspiration, strength and ways to lead as a caregiver.  If you want to share your story, click this link.

I would love to connect with you!!!

And now on to the show episode….  In this episode…. 

I have the pleasure of interviewing Jodi Duggan.  She is a Mom, Grandmother, and Caregiver Wife.   I have a unique connection to her since she is married to my brother, John.   I knew her story but when I heard her share the details, I felt her strength, courage and abilities to overcome challenges in a whole different light.  Oh and did I share that she was a military wife raising 4 children while my brother was deployed.

Meet my best friend, high school sweetheart and spouse of 39 years.  Denis Vandenheuvel is the most optimistic and positive person I know.  

In this episode, Denis will share his health journey and talk through his struggles and ways he shifted his mindset.  

I hope you can glean information from the eyes of my spouse going through his health struggles in the last three years.     

See more pictures and stories on my website at https://www.cathylvan.com/about