I never thought I would experience it again.  

These past couple weeks I have been riding the emotional roller coaster of caregiving - again.   

The words that come to mind are sudden, unexpected and why.

Cancer sucks.  It is a nasty disease.   

Aging sucks.  I hate the circle of life right now.  

But this podcast isn’t a pity party or a Debbie downer.  It’s funny how fast you forget about those firsts.  

• The first inkling that something isn’t right with your loved one.
• The initial shock and numbness when you hear the bad news.
• Then comes all those emotions.  
• Hours of sadness, crying, grief before you really need to
• Anger, frustration 
• Worry, confusion 
• Feeling those nerves inside shaking
• You can’t focus

First, let me tell you about my Mom.  I’m blessed to have a great mother-daughter relationship.  

She is an energizer bunny.  The social butterfly.  The one that is always willing to help.  She is the hard working blue collar worker with her own cleaning business.  She is still cleaning small apartments at age 79.   

She was married to my Dad 57 years until Dad passed away in 2018.  They both traveled, enjoyed spending time together and spent 15 winters in Arizona with their retirement village friends.  It amazed me to see the activities they did from riding motor cycles to ATVs to DIYing and much more.  

Mom and I did some Mother Daughter trips to Jamaica, Arizona, Minneapolis and Branson

In the last 3 years, I watched my Mom transform from a struggling widow to a strong, independent and happy woman.  If you follow me on Facebook, you might see many photos of our Sunday Fundays together.  When I visit at her senior apartment, her phone is always ringing and someone is knocking on her door.  

But now, she is faced with cancer.  I noticed...

Are you burning out?  
Are you exhausted, fatigued, or just plain tired?
What’s your stress level? 
What about your anxiety level?
Are you sad or depressed?

How do you feel about your health?  Are you taking care of yourself?  Are you losing weight?  Or are you gaining weight?  

These are just a few symptoms of caregiver stress and caregiver burnout?  

I want to talk today about the ONE thing you can do.  The ONE thing you can take control of.  

I'm here to give you some tough love and hard talk.  

It’s time . Let me say it again.  It’s time.  Time to move!   

I'm here to tell you that you have to move.  

You have to even if you don’t feel like it.  Even if you're tired.  Even if you don’t think you have time.  

Start small -  just 20 minutes a day is all you need.   Or even if it’s 15 minutes.  

A study from Harvard says:   “Exercising as little as 15 minutes of physical activity a day can increase your life span by 3 years." 

Here’s another stat from caregiver.org and the Family Caregiver Alliance:  35% of female caregivers report high levels of stress.  Those symptoms go from headaches to high blood pressure to weight gain.  

Think of movement and exercise as an outlet.  A place to go to recharge, think and take care of yourself

Let me share my story.   

Pre-caregiving, I was very active.   I went to the gym 5-6 days a week.  Prior to my Dad and Spouse getting their cancer diagnosis in Sept 2017, I was training for my 9th half marathon.  

It was a habit and routine I stuck with since I felt better.  I watched what I ate.  Don’t get me wrong, there were days I didn’t want to get up and move my body.  But when I did, I was happier.   

Then Sept 2017 came and I thought I didn’t have time. ...

This week I started my Spring gardening prep.   

I can’t clean out the leaves and debris yet since until it gets warmer since the bees, butterflies and other little insects are trying to stay warm yet.  But it’s time to prune the bushes and trees.  

My husband just rolls his eyes and goes along with my gardening passion.   If it was up to him, we would just leave it.  But I want the plants and trees needs just a bit of help to show their beauty.  

Here’s the definition: 

Pruning removes dead and dying branches and stubs, allowing room for new growth and protecting your property and passerby from damage. It also deters pest and animal infestation and promotes the plant's natural shape and healthy growth.

It’s also a reminder that we can do our own personal pruning too.  

• Can you prune back those dead or dying branches?   What are those for you?
• Is it worry?   Can you find a way to cut back that branch?
• Is it  negativity?  And distancing yourself from negativity (news, social media, ppl)

Is it anger and resentment that consumers your mind? 

• Pruning allows room for new growth.   When you release those bad habits, bad thoughts, and accept your new reality, you will allow for those buds, blossoms and new growth.  
• How are you allowing for new growth?   It starts with mindset. 
• Journal gratitude - 5 things each morning
• Affirmation - those words you tell yourself - post them on your mirror, set a timer on your phone to remind you
• Coaching - speaking with someone to look at your situation and improve
• Meditation and quiet thoughts

• Pruning protects your property - yourself.   When you pivot your mindset, set healthy boundaries and manage your new normal, you are starting to take care of yourself.     
• You can’t expect that beautiful crab apple tree to blossom every spring into...

In the hustle of caregiving, self-care often falls by the wayside, especially in the early hours when the demands of the day seem to pile up before the sun even rises. But what if the secret to managing stress and fostering well-being lies in the way we greet the morning? This is the empowering premise behind a recent episode of the Caregiver Cup podcast, where listeners are invited to delve into the transformative potential of morning routines.

The episode opens with a candid personal narrative, as the host shares a pivotal moment from six years ago that catalyzed a significant shift in perspective. This vulnerability leads to a broader discussion about the benefits of morning rituals for caregivers. It's not merely a list of tasks; it's about embracing a practice that has the power to ripple positive change across various aspects of life.

One key concept introduced is "habit stacking," which encourages caregivers to build momentum with small, consistent wins each morning. These wins, though seemingly insignificant on their own, compound to create a significant impact on one's daily routine. By introducing elements like stretching, meditation, and journaling, the host demonstrates how such practices have personally led to improved mental clarity and overall well-being.

As the episode progresses, practical steps to create a personalized morning routine are laid out. Gratitude journaling and embracing life's challenges—or, as the host refers to it, 'Embracing the Suck'—are suggested as tools to cultivate resilience. Furthermore, the episode addresses the common pitfalls that caregivers might encounter, such as overcommitting or selecting activities that inadvertently increase stress.

The podcast emphasizes assessing one's day in "zones," advocating for the integration of self-care into the first zone of the day to set a positive tone. The host's own rituals, shared across different seasons of caregiving, illustrate the adaptability and necessity...

Caregiving is an act of love and devotion, but it can also lead to an emotional and physical toll on the caregiver. The stress and demands of caregiving can often lead to burnout—a state of emotional, physical, and mental exhaustion caused by prolonged and excessive stress. Recognizing the signs of burnout and implementing self-care strategies is not just beneficial but necessary for the well-being of both the caregiver and the recipient of care.

In our latest podcast episode, we delve into the intricacies of caregiver stress and burnout, providing personal anecdotes and professional advice on how to navigate these challenges. The episode begins with an exploration of the caregiver's emotional gauntlet, a silent struggle that many endure without recognition. The personal narrative shared by the host highlights the critical point of acknowledging the stress and taking actionable steps to address it.

The podcast then outlines ten behaviors that lead caregivers down the path of exhaustion. It sheds light on the dangerous pattern of always saying 'yes' and the stress of people-pleasing. This discussion emphasizes the importance of setting healthy boundaries and recognizing the limits to prevent burnout. The episode also provides insight into the consequences of attempting to control everything and the need for caregivers to acknowledge their limits.

Moving forward, the podcast stresses the importance of self-care as a preventive measure against burnout. Quality sleep, proper nutrition, and maintaining connections with others are underscored as essential elements of a caregiver's self-care regimen. Practical tips for managing sleep, eating well during busy times, and the importance of social interactions are shared, highlighting how these can support mental health and prevent isolation.

In the final segment, the host discusses the impact of stress on the body and mind, sharing personal experiences of feeling overwhelmed. Strategies for finding respite and...

We are talking about the caregiver type called Nostalgic.  

Do you find yourself saying:

• "Ah, the good old days" 
• "If only I could go back and relive those moments." 
• "I wish I could rewind the movie of my life and enjoy the way it was."  

Well friend, we're going to dive deep into this today and talk about the qualities and the impacts of being a Nostalgic.  

If you haven’t taken our quiz called “What’s your Caregiver style?  Go to cathylvan.com/quiz     

I want to start out with a story from my past.  

I lived in a middle class, blue collar home.  My dad worked in the automotive business and my mom clean houses.  They worked hard and took pride in the things they had.  They were always doing home improvement and working on the curb appeal of our home.  But one thing I really remember was the fun time.  When they weren’t working, they liked to play hard.    My Dad remodel the basement in our ranch home

• Indoor outdoor carpet in the basement
• Family room on one side 
• Table in the middle to sit around and do crafts, play games
• Mom hung our family pictures and those uncomfortable grade school pictures
• Dad built his bar at the other end with bar stools, his stereo (8 track tapes)
• Entertaining area - played cards, had my bottled pop and every so often Dad would pull out the video reel and we would sit and watch old movies of ourselves

Why am I telling you this?   Everyone of us has a bit of nostalgia in us and hopefully we all embrace those wonderful memories. 

One of the caregiver styles of our quiz is 

The Nostalgic Caregiver looks at their Loved One remembering those special past experiences and memories.  You desire to return to an earlier time in life by wishing things were back the way they were.   

It was extremely hard to watch my Dad crinkle and crumble away...

People call me a hustle, a powerhouse, a boot straper, or an energizer bunny.   I am energetic, determined and an achiever.  

Is this you?   Most of the time, some of the time, before caregiving or something you're striving for?

One of the results of my quiz called “What’s your caregiver style?” is The Go-Getter.  

Qualities of a Go-Getter

Go-Getters are active, flexible people who put a great deal of passion and energy into juggling it all and being an effective caregiver.  Your ability to adapt and willingly jump in with a positive attitude and enthusiasm provides comfort to your Loved One.   

You pride yourself in staying motivated and ambitious with your high levels of organization and multitasking.  Your mottos are "get it done" or "I'll figure it out". 

Can you relate?   These qualities may be innate or experiences you been taught.  

 Go-Getters are: 

 Disciplined   You manage your time well and will use every bit of it.  You understand the importance of your Loved One's care and balancing your job, passions, goals and other essential responsibilities.   

You might find yourself using a planner or a scheduler.  

Celebrating  small achievements  You don’t focus on magical celebration at the end of the road. You celebrate your small successes each day and practice gratitude.

Gratitude journaling and checking off the boxes make you feel good.

Passionate  You realize the importance of your Loved One's relationship and care.  Go-Getters are passionate about what they do and are excited to work on many things they care about.

You may find yourself pursuing your passions right along side of caregiving.

Finding Support  You empower family and a team together to get the best possible care for your Loved One.   You...

You're in for a big treat with today's guest.  I chatted with a life coach and business friend who is passionate about self-care, self-love and the pursuit of growth.  

Today's guest, Amy Linsmeyer, is dedicated to helping women move forward in their personal and entrepreneur journey by encouraging dreams, their authentic self and developing a foundation that supports sustainable growth.   

Amy shared ways to put yourself first, finding a morning routine and most importantly taking action.   She gives her best tips and mindset practices, knowing that challenges are part of the caregiver life.  

Here are just a word from Amy worth noting:

• It's ok to let the pieces fall as you figure things out. 

• We need to know where we are, before we go where we’re going to go

•  It all comes down to what we want in life.   Appreciate the importance of your putting yourself first

• The difference between wanting and having is an action.  What are you doing to make it happen.   

• If you are not making the time you want to do, you basically are setting yourself up for failure.  

• Write down your mornings for 3 days first before you go to work/clock in
• You’ll start to notice times you can fit in
• Even if you only have 15 minutes - you can do journal gratitude.  
• If you can’t find a morning routine, then look at what you are doing in the evening

• If you want to show up for your Loved One, practice gratitude.   You will show up differently.  

• It’s even more important to adopt a Morning Routine and self-care.  

Today we’re talking about being prepared and proactive in this challenging and crazy life you’re living right now.  I want to share my tips based on what has worked for me and what has crashed and burned too. 

You're juggling your work hours, schedule and its demands plus caring for your Loved One.  

Then add the normal every day responsibilities like house chores, meals, errands, etc

Then you have your own personal time (essential plus your personal time)

Picture this:  

• My work calendar is online - on my work laptop - on an outlook calendar

• My Mom’s appointments are on her paper calendar on her bulletin board

• My spouse’s appointments are on his phone and through his doctor’s app and when he or I remember, they are put on the calendar on our refrig

• My business is on my Google calendar

• Then my personal appointments are on post it notes, in your wallet, maybe the refrig calendar and if I am feeling organized, I add them to the refrig calendar.  

Can you relate.  Prior to caregiving, I thought I was organized and actually when I was raising my 3 boys, I used to refer to myself as the project master and knew exactly what was going on at any time.  

Times have changed.  I could psycho- analyze myself,  but I believe it takes a heck of a lot of energy, emotions, patience and time to care for a Loved One.  

So in this episode I want to talk about what you can control and what you can do to be as prepared and organized with your time as possible.  

Disclaimer here - my way is not always the right way for you.   It took me months and months to find what worked for me.  Then…  when I got it right.  The situation changed again.  

You may be saying, why plan and why organize?   

Planning is important because it helps you use your time in the most efficient way. You can realistically...

I had the pleasure of chatting with Amanda Millemon.  Here are a few notes I captured in our conversation.   

I looked really deep into my eyes and said to myself in the mirror -   you finally did it.  

I looked again and said - you finally did it. It felt good to say.  At the time I thought you finally got moved in, out of the situation but now looking back.- those words meant more - I finally did something for you.

Up to that point it was taking care of everything and doing everything for everyone else.  And I hadn’t taken the time to look deep in my soul and ask myself - what do I really want to be happy?. 

Being a special needs mom.   Caring for her over the years.  Doing what was best for her.  Finding a partner for her that would be a good parent for her.  I hadn’t taken the time to really look at myself.   For the first time I made a choice of self love.  It didn't happen overnight.  It took a lot of self-reflection to realize to do something that matters in myself.   You can’t pour from an empty cup.  It’s time for you and time to take care of myself. 

On the subject of feeling guilty. we think it has to be one or the other.  It’s ok to have those feelings but you can do both (caregiving, taking care of yourself).   You can’t give to your loved one 100% of the time.  

The reality of caregiving is always juggling schedules, ensuring their needs are met and how am I going to get my needs met and things done. 

 In a caregiving family, there’s always one person that has to make sacrifices.  It’s your new reality.    You usually grieve the life you had or think you had.  Once you come to the acceptance, you then can create a new reality.  Then work with what you have and accept  that’s what life has handed...