How are you sleeping? If you're like many of us, the answer might not be so great.

In today's fast-paced world, sleep often takes a backseat to our caregiving responsibilities, but the truth is, it shouldn't. In this episode of the Caregiver Cup Podcast, we're diving deep into the importance of sleep, why caregivers often struggle to get enough of it, and most importantly, how you can improve your sleep quality starting tonight.

Last Saturday, March 16, marked World Sleep Day, a perfect opportunity to shine a spotlight on the sleep issues facing caregivers. Shocking statistics reveal that a staggering 76% of caregivers report poor sleep quality, with dementia caregivers experiencing rates as high as 91.7%. These sleep disturbances aren't just inconvenient; they're linked to serious health issues like depression, anxiety, and fatigue.

So, what's causing all this sleep deprivation? For many caregivers, anxiety and depression play a significant role, leading to racing thoughts and frequent awakenings. The stress and challenges of caregiving only compound the problem, leaving many of us feeling overwhelmed and unable to rest. And let's not forget the self-induced factors, like caffeine, late-night snacks, and excessive screen time, that can wreak havoc on our sleep patterns.

But here's the good news: prioritizing quality sleep can have a profound impact on our well-being. From lowering stress levels to improving memory and reducing anxiety, the benefits of a good night's sleep are undeniable. By adopting simple strategies like sticking to a sleep schedule, creating a sleep-friendly environment, and addressing any underlying issues, we can take control of our sleep and reclaim our health.

I know it's not always easy to prioritize sleep, especially when you're in the thick of caregiving duties. But trust me when I say that it's worth it. By making small changes and focusing on what you can control, you can improve your sleep quality and, in turn, your...

Gratitude is a gift — and gratitude changes everything. When we allow ourselves to look critically at our lives through the lens of gratitude, and to focus on the many reasons we have to be grateful, life gets better. ... A focus on gratitude reduces stress and increases levels of contentment. It truly is life-changing.

Resilient people proactively cultivate positive emotions like humor, gratitude and optimism. You don’t even have to find anything to be grateful for. The simple act of looking for the positive decreases the stress hormone cortisol by 23%. Just looking for something to appreciate increases serotonin and dopamine, the feel-good neurochemicals in most antidepressants.

Gratitude affects your brain at a neurological level. A gratitude practice has a positive impact on: sleep, mood, alertness, physical risk markers for future disease, happiness, better financial decision making, problem solving, optimism, productivity, and goal orientation. People who practice gratitude are perceived as more likable, have fewer aches and pains, have increased self esteem, and make friends more easily. Practicing gratitude lowers stress, enhances empathy, lowers your risk of cancer, high blood pressure, and diabetes, and it improves your immune system and cardiovascular health.

Our brain has a negativity bias, causing it to constantly scan the environment for what’s wrong.  You can train the brain by sitting in a positive experience for 15-20 seconds. Really soak in that beautiful moment, appreciate it, and relish the feeling. You have to deliberately sustain and internalize positive emotions to transfer them from short-term memory to long-term storage. You can’t just have the experience. You have to install it.

There is literally no downside to practicing gratitude.

Ways to incorporate gratitude into you daily life. 

• Journaling for 5 minutes a day about what you are grateful for can enhance long-term happiness by 10%.
• Write...

Self-Soothing is your solution to reducing and releasing overwhelm.  That anxiety, stress and pressure you feel each day.

What is self-soothing?   We learn how to self-soothe from the moment we enter this world. Some of our first acknowledgments of our mental feelings and our physical bodies occur as young as a newborn. Infants learn how to self-soothe through means of thumb-sucking. It is from this early age, that we begin to learn and understand that we are capable of healing ourselves, something that we should acknowledge and remember as we move through life.

When we get hurt, physically or mentally, feel anxious, or depressed, we all hope to feel better. We seek feeling better by learning how to make ourselves heal and relieve anxieties, in both immediate and long term ways. In other words, we self soothe. Self soothing is a way in which we treat ourselves to feelings of betterment, so that we can move forward, past any negativity or pain. 

As caregivers, if we learn to self-soothe,  it can be a huge solution to managing our mindset, improving our mood and maintaining our health.  Finding those techniques that will keep you grounded and peaceful by self soothing. 

Good Self Soothing Techniques

• Touch. Taking a  bubble bath filled with Epsom salt to help relax your muscles
• Taste.  Drinking a cup of herbal tea to help relax. 
• Smell. Aromatherapy 
• Sight. Distracting yourself with your favorite movie or television show. 
• Sound.   Listening to your favorite music.

The sooner you release the anxiety and stress, the sooner you’ll find joy, health and positivity.  You don’t want to be stuck there.   If you are not self-soothing daily, you are not close to your real emotional powers.  

Most people go through the world reacting (anger, frustrations, biases)  as if they don’t have the ability to change that.   It’s not easy, but you can master your...

Diana Winkler is a singer songwriter and I'm an abuse advocate.  She uses music as one of my healing tools and facilitates Meaning The Soul healing groups.  She is also a podcaster of the Wound of the Faithful Podcast.

She is married to her husband, Brain for 11 years who struggles with severe ulcerative colitis.  Diana is very transparent about her own health struggles with memory loss too.  

In my interview, I ask Diana to share her everyday schedule.  She is figuring it out by juggling her schedule, pursuing her passions and finding time for herself.  

I ask Diana to unpack her caregiving journey.  She shares her spouse’s 10 year journey with ulcerative colitis, from the initial diagnosis,  remission and through the pandemic.  She talks about the stressors of his disease and how it impacts her as a caregiver.  

She shares her gratitude of both being able to work from home but also the stress there too.  

As a caregiver, Diana has had to be that advocate for her spouse's healthcare too.  She has a strong persistence to make sure her Loved One gets the best possible care.  

Then, we shift the interview on Diana and I ask her to share the pressure, stress and anxiety caregiving puts on her.  She shares the added responsibilities she takes on now that her spouse can’t do.  The grocery and meal planning needed.  

I appreciated Diana’s stories of where she lets the little things fall.  As caregivers we may need to just do that.  

Our conversation then led to the frustrations felt as a caregiver.  I am grateful she share this and then her awareness of her situation.  She knows that the disease is what she is most frustrated about, no her spouse.  

To end the interview, Diana and I talked about “filling our cups”.   She shares what really works for her - from her hobbies to martial arts to gardening.  

...

Each morning about 6:30, I put on my walking shoes and grab my ear buds for my 2-3 miles walk.  One particular thing this week got me.    I kept nodding my head and walking faster and faster.  My head was spinning when listening to a new podcast.   I couldn’t wait to get home to grab a piece of paper and write down my thoughts.  

I love podcasts that feed my soul with inspiration, self-help and self-development and ones that are just plain fun too.   Podcast listening is my jam when I am walking or working in my garden or getting ready in the morning.    

Ok… what was I listening to? I am trying to level up and be a better speaker.  It was my newest podcast that I recently added to favs.  My new mentor and speaking coach - The Heather Saeger show.  It was one from way back on Jan 6 where she interviewed Anna Nelson about Unlock a new level in your business using your superpower.    

It’s funny how you get more out of a podcast.  What I mean is that I got tips for improving my speech but also go tips to improving my caregiving.  

When I got home - I wrote in my journal all that I remembered plus…  

• Caregiving is self-development on steroids
• It requires you step up and start working on your mindset in a different way imagined
• It requires you to amplify your scheduling and coordination of everything - I put a super women cape next to my note.
• It requires a whole new discipline and shift to your self care 

I think you get the picture.  

What’s crazy is that you can’t really enroll in caregiving school and take courses and once trained you can then know it all   

So when you become a caregiver, you need to learn and adjust as you go.  

We all are different.  We all learn differently.  Our situations are different.  Our passions are...

Hello and welcome to another insightful episode of The Caregiver Cup Podcast. Today, we're delving into a crucial topic: How to Show Up Better When Faced with Hard Situations, Crises, or Feeling Stuck. This discussion stems from my recent personal experience with dental issues, and I believe it will shed light on transformative changes you can make in challenging circumstances.

In late February, I found myself in excruciating tooth pain. A visit to the dentist, an exam, and x-rays yielded no immediate solutions. Despite the pain being manageable at first, it intensified rapidly. This led to a frustrating series of events that mirrored the challenges many caregivers face.

This dental saga provided me with a fresh perspective on what we can control and influence in challenging situations, a lesson I believe is invaluable for caregivers. It's essential to consider what aspects we can change, influence, and control when faced with the overwhelming nature of caregiving.

So, let's dive into the 5 crucial steps to handle challenging situations effectively:

1. Gather All the Facts: When navigating situations where you feel lost and hopeless, step back, and objectively gather all the facts. Just like a detective, list out the specifics. In my dental ordeal, this involved noting the day, severity of pain, the endodontist's office schedule, and my need for urgent care. Caregivers, grab that paper and pen – it's time to be your own investigator.

2. Leave Out Your Emotions: While emotions are valid, learning to manage them is crucial. In my case, crying wouldn't have expedited my dental appointment. Instead, I chose to express my frustrations and pain articulately. As caregivers, it's essential to acknowledge emotions but ensure they don't hijack the situation.

3. Ask Good Questions: When armed with facts and a clear emotional state, the next step is to ask relevant questions. In my dental emergencies, asking about earlier appointments got me on the...

You're a busy woman caregiver who feels pressured to be able to do it all,  juggling your career, family, caregiving, managing the household and more.

Superwoman Syndrome is exactly what it says it is - trying to be Superwoman. And more often than not, you're feeling overworked, overwhelmed and overly committed. You're also exhausted, anxious and stressed.  But don't worry - you are not alone.

According to Dr. Madeline Ann Lewis, co-author of Overcoming the Superwoman Syndrome, some of us wear this imaginary cape because we:

• Want to be the good, little girl
• Have a tendency towards people-pleasing
• Seek attention
• Want to feel like you can do it all
• You cannot say no to others
• To feel accomplished
• Have low self-esteem
• Strive for perfection

The Superwoman is also a good person, duty oriented, very responsible and truly desires to do what is right.

Symptoms of superwoman syndrome and caregiver burnout:  

• Bouts of irritability
• Inability to sleep or excessive sleep
• Memory issues
• Muscle tension
• Anxiety
• Sweating when not physically active
• Inability to concentrate
• General aches and pains

 It’s important to be aware of what your body is trying to tell you.  Aspiring to a level of perfectionism that is not attainable and sacrificing your well-being consistently will inevitably lead you down the path to caregiver stress, burnout and eventually fatigue.   It may rob you of your joy.  

Accumulated stress opens the door to a multitude of health issues, including early aging, heart disease, diabetes, obesity and gastrointestinal conditions. 

So it’s time to take off that costume and cape.  

When you recognize that superwoman syndrome or caregiver burnout is present in your caregiver life, it’s time to.  Shed that costume, untie that cape and figure out ways to overcome this.   

First and foremost it’s not easy to admit that you can’t do it all.  You don’t need to...

Lisa Allarid was faced with huge adversity and a new normal  in December of 2018 when her husband was diagnosed with Stage 4 Chronic Kidney Disease.  She's a mom of 4 and works in the finance industry. 

She had to learn about kidney disease, nutrition, and how the donor system works.  

Lisa also shares how she stopped taking care of herself, going out with friends and really hitting rock bottom before she realized the importance of her needs.  

You will find some amazing golden nuggets about half way through the interview when Lisa shares how she is embracing her new normal by knowing what type of caregiver she is., what her strengths are, and what her weaknesses are. 

As she is growing and figuring out how to be a better caregiver and most importantly a better person to herself, she is expressing what she needs.  She's a beautiful role model and teaching her children the true meaning of love and caregiving.     

Follow Lisa on Instagram at @lisaallarid and @steveneedsakidney

This is a behind-the-scene (fun) episode where I asked my accountability partners record an episode.  Each week, I meet with Amy and Naomi.  The weekly accountability meetings are for us to share our success, challenges and to ask questions and provide support.  Little did I know a year ago that we would become close friends.

Thursday nights have become part of my self-care.  These amazing ladies listen to my challenges without judgement, cheer me on when I find joy and success and pick me up.   I have also been able to give back to them and have seen my confidence grow. 

I encourage you to find your "group".   It took a little courage to put a post out in a group on Facebook.  It was well worth the fear.  You are welcome to  post in The Caregiver Cup Podcast Online Community 

If you are in the Meeting and Event Planning field, check out Naomi Tucker at https://plannersonpurpose.com/

If you are looking for a life coach, check out Amy Linsmeyer at https://amylinsmeyer.com/

Only when you first help yourselves can you effectively help others. Caring for yourself is one of the most important—and one of the most often forgotten—things you can do as a caregiver. When your needs are taken care of, the person you care for will benefit.

How do you do this?  You have to create the foundation to succeed  Creating a foundation to be that effective caregiver.    

What is foundation / framework?
What about your health and vitality?

You can’t rely on your own personal discipline

What would the ideal environment be to ensure you are effective today? 

 If your productivity or motivation is not there?

Think about what infrastructures are you lacking?   What things can I put in place that helps me be a better version of myself and a better caregiver?  

The second is your strategy or asset to your caregiving:  Y_O _U    Yes,  taking care of yourself.  

I know, it doesn’t sound right, it’s doesn’t feel right and it may not be what you want to do.  But you can’t be an effective caregiver if you don’t put yourself first.  

What is your Ideal Vitality - Well-being - Self-care look like?  

I want you to think deeper than the surface here.  

Find your Doctor 

1. How are you caring for yourself?  
2. You shouldn’t  wait to go to the doctor when you are sick or mentally struggling.  You need to be proactive.  
3. You need Someone who is guiding you in your health now that you are in a season that is challenging and tasking on yourself

You need a medical doctor who is aware of your situation and is supporting and guiding you through this time and keep your physical well-being in mind.  

You also need to think about your mental wellness in this caregiving season.  What resources should I be utilizing?  

• Therapist - licensed professional
• Coach
• Consultant
• Support...