Are you burning out or are you already burnt out?  

The topic of  burnout is easy to identify if you really reflect on your thoughts, actions and the words you say to yourself or others.   Here’s just a few I’ve said to myself.  

Words you say:  

• Things will be ok when my loved one feels better
• I just have to get through the next week and I have a day off to catch up.

Actions:  

• You feel exhausted, emotional or irritable.  A little challenge sets you off - ie:  driving the car, or forgetting the keys, or you snapping at your loved one.
• Your to-do list stresses you out.  You try to replan it but the load is still too heavy

Thoughts:

• You think about escaping.  wish you could pack your bag and run away
• You don’t like your loved one (resentment) and then you feel guilty for feeling this way 

When someone looks at you from the outside in, they see you as this great caregiver passionately taking care of your parent, spouse or whoever your loved one is.  But only if they looked deep inside - what would they see?  

You are that People Pleaser that says yes by default which means you are saying no to something else.  That no is usually you or something you enjoy.   

Or you’re a Go Getter that thinks they can tackle it all.  You wake up with all the intentions of getting it all in and as the day goes by, you get more and more irritated because you can see that you are killing yourself by trying to do it all.  Or you realize that you aren’t going to get everything done and you get hard on yourself.  

Oh, and do you notice that fog you are in some day.   You are so stressed or sleep deprived that you just walk around and go through the motions.   You just do what you have to without any drive or energy.  

Another one that comes to mind and I really don’t know how to explain this –  let me try.   Every caregiving day feels the same.  You are in auto-pilot and really don’t enjoy it.   When my spouse was going through his stem cell transplant.   Every day seemed the same and it was boring, not motivating and I lost track of what day it was.   There were days were I dreaded life.    Or maybe you have to take care of your loved one and you just don’t want to.   You wish you could call in sick and play hookie.     

Let me ask you this….  If you weren’t caregiving, what would you be doing?   Today?  Next Month?    Caregiving was this unexpected guest that doesn’t leave.     That guest where they show up at your home and you try to be cordial but you really don’t them there.  You are figuring out ways to kindly gesture that you have to get up in the morning and they are overstaying there welcome.  

Yes,  I envisioned my life differently.  I thought my spouse and I would have a vacation home in AZ and retired by now.    I envisioned my Mom and Dad still living their good life way into their 80s.   I visioned family vacations in a resort with my sons and grandchildren.  

But the reality is that you are a caregiver.  The universe is not conspiring against you, no one is trying to put these road blocks in your way intentionally   Caregiving and its challenges are just happening.  How you choose to look at things- ultimately determines your stress level.  

But if you let the stress get the best of you - it will lead to burnout.  And there is a cost to burnout.  And ever chronic burnout.  

The price of stress can do some big damage to you 

• Cathylynnvan.com
• Personally - list out mine
• Depression
• Withdrawal
• Feelings of helplessness or hopelessness
• Negative emotions
• Physical fatigue
• Sleep deprivation or sleep disorders
• Abuse of care receiver(s)
• Neglect of care receiver(s)
• Personal health problems
• Lowered self-esteem

Think about what causes stress

• Today’s technology definitely adds to it - phone
• Multi-tasking
• High achiever mentality
• People pleaser - learning to say no without guilt and knowing why you are saying no
• Our expectations - 
• Comparison  / social media
• Lack of self-care

So the big question is,  how do you show up as an effective and passionate caregiver , and not burn out.  

In next week’s episode, I will share my thoughts on:

• Burn out is the result of your misalignment between the work you are doing and your values.  The meaning behind your work.  We’re going to talk about finding your meaning and purpose of your caregiving role.   
• If you don’t enjoy, you will burnout
• f you don’t enjoy it and experience negative thoughts, it can lead to burnout. 

• In addition to this thought work, we’ll dive into giving self-compassion to yourself and energy management.  

Oh, I have more and can’t wait to geek out about it.  

Now this week, I want you to take a few minutes and pay attention to your thoughts, your actions, your energy, you words.   

Do you sense stress and burnout?  

What are you doing to reduce it and release it?  That’s all good.  Then next week I want to add to those techniques you have already in place.   

You don’t want to be in burnout.   You can’t stay there and it’s a very big red flag and fire alarm that you have to face and take care of.  You can’t wait and you can’t blow it off. 

Download  ➡️   3 Stages of Caregiver Overwhelm 

Take the      ➡️ Caregiver Quiz

Join the Caregiver Cup Circle  ❤️ https://www.cathylvan.com/caregivercircle
The small group meets every other Tuesday.  We would love to have you!

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