Hey there, fellow caregiver! If you're reading this, chances are you're juggling a million things at once and feeling the weight of the world on your shoulders. I get it because I've been there too. Today, I want to share a simple yet powerful habit that has helped me find some much-needed relief and joy in my caregiving journey. It's called the "I'm so done with _______ and I'm so ready for ________" habit.

The Birth of a New Habit

Inspired by a segment I recently heard on Hoda and Jenna's show, I found myself nodding along as they shared their "I'm so done with..." lists. It struck a chord with me. As caregivers, we often carry around a lot of frustrations, worries, and pent-up emotions. Sometimes, we just need to let it all out. That's where this habit comes in.

Why It Works

1. Cathartic Release: Listing what you're "so done with" allows you to vent and acknowledge your frustrations without guilt or shame. It's like giving yourself permission to feel all those emotions you've been bottling up.

2. Positive Focus: Shifting to what you're "so ready for" helps redirect your energy towards positive change. It's about envisioning a better, more balanced future.

3. Empowerment: This habit gives you a sense of control. While there are many aspects of caregiving we can't change, identifying and focusing on the things we can influence helps us feel empowered.

How to Get Started

1. Find a Quiet Moment: Carve out some time for yourself. Grab a cup of coffee, sit in your favorite chair, and let your thoughts flow.

2. Write It Down: Start with "I'm so done with...". List everything that comes to mind. It could be the small annoyances like waiting in exam rooms or bigger challenges like dealing with the emotional toll of caregiving.

3. Shift to the Positive: After you've vented, move on to "I'm so ready for...". Think about what you want to embrace or change. It could be as simple as making more time for yourself or as ambitious as finding new ways to manage stress.

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When something's bothering you, you know that getting your mind off of it is easier said than done.   In fact, research shows that when people are instructed not to think about a specific topic, it makes it even harder to get that topic out of their minds. But rehashing negative thoughts over and over in your head, also known as rumination, can be unpleasant and counterproductive

Negative thinking can contribute to problems such as anxiety, depression, stress, and low self-esteem. The key to changing your negative thoughts is to understand how you think now

One of the first steps toward changing your negative thinking patterns is understanding exactly how you think. This involves identifying any cognitive distortions you may be experiencing, which can lead to negative thoughts.  Meaning the  (faulty or unhelpful ways of thinking) 

 Negative thinking patterns:

• Jumping to conclusions: 
• Catastrophizing
• Overgeneralization
• Labeling
• "Should" statements
• Emotional reasoning
• Personalization and blame

When negative thoughts and rumination sets in, there are ways to overcome or reduce them.

1. Pause, Stop and Shift
2. Keep Positive Company
3. Physically Throw Them Away
4. Explore Calming Techniques
5. Reframe Your Situation

Most of us spend a lot of time inside our own mind — worrying about the future, replaying events in the past, and generally focusing on the parts of our caregiver life that leave us dissatisfied. While common, negative or unwanted thoughts can prevent you from finding joy in the small things, distract you from focusing on what's important, and drain your energy. They can also make you feel anxious, stressed  and depressed.

The good news is that with dedicated practice, you can replace negative thinking patterns with thoughts that actually help. This can make a huge difference in your day-to-day happiness and comfort.

Find out your caregiver style by taking the Caregiver Cup Quiz.  This quiz will take less...