Hey there, beautiful soul! Today, let's dive deep into a topic close to every caregiver's heart: finding your secret sauce to conquer those pesky negative thoughts and reclaim your joy. As someone who's been on this journey myself, I get it. It's not always sunshine and rainbows, but trust me, there's a way to sprinkle a little magic into each day.

You know those moments when you're feeling on top of the world? Take a second to celebrate those. What's working? What have you been doing differently? Maybe it's a heart-to-heart chat with a friend, a quiet moment of journaling, or simply basking in the warmth of the sun during a brisk walk. Whatever it is, it's your own special blend of joy boosters.

But let's be real, there's no one-size-fits-all solution here. Oh, how I wish we could just get a prescription for happiness! But alas, life doesn't work that way. Instead, we have to rely on our own intuition, listening closely to the whispers of our body and mind.

Think of it as a grand experiment, my friend. What works for you might not work for someone else, and that's okay. It's all about exploring, experimenting, and taking note of what brings a sparkle to your eye.

I remember when I was in my late 40s and early 50s, diving into health and fitness. Running became my sanctuary, a place to clear my mind and nourish my soul. But then life threw me a curveball. Suddenly, my days were filled with caregiving duties, and running just wasn't feasible anymore. So, I had to pivot, to explore new avenues of self-care that fit into my new reality.

And let me tell you, those negative thoughts? They're like pesky mosquitoes, buzzing around, trying to steal your joy. But here's the secret: you have the power to swat them away. It starts with a moment of pause, a gentle inquiry into what's really going on.

Maybe it's a drive to clear your head, or a quiet moment on the patio with a cup of tea. Whatever it is, give yourself the gift of time to breathe, to journal, to...

When Laureen Wysocki took on the role of caregiver for her husband Kevin, who was diagnosed with young-onset dementia, her life took a dramatic turn. It became a journey not just of love and loss, but of immense personal growth, self-discovery, and a deeper understanding of resilience in the face of adversity. This podcast episode provides an intimate glimpse into the life of an opera singer who balances her career with the demands of caregiving, and it is as multifaceted as the roles she performs on stage.

Laureen's narrative is a powerful one, a blend of candid vulnerability and inspiring strength. As she recounts the challenges she has faced, we see the reflection of countless other caregivers who are navigating similar paths. The importance of self-care is a central theme, emphasized through her commitment to practices like gratitude, journaling, and maintaining a support network. These tools not only help her cope but also ensure she remains a steadfast source of support for her husband.

Moreover, Laureen's story touches on the delicate balance of providing care while also setting boundaries and clear communication, a lesson that many caregivers must learn. It's a dance of patience and love, of knowing when to step forward and when to step back. Through the podcast, we are reminded of the importance of accepting help, of the relief and reassurance that come from counseling and community support.

The episode goes on to highlight moments of connection and joy, which shine brightly against the backdrop of dementia's challenges. Laureen's account of a special Valentine's Day with Kevin serves as a poignant reminder that even in the midst of cognitive decline, there can be flashes of awareness, of shared love that transcends the disease. It is these moments that provide caregivers with the strength to continue, to cherish every victory, no matter how small.

As the podcast concludes, listeners are left with an overwhelming sense of hope and encouragement....

In today’s episode I want to share a recording of a Live session I did with The Caregiver Cup Community.   I shared an article I found in caregiver.com by Mary Damiano 

As you listen to this episode today, I want you to think about two things

1. What can you do to put yourself first - carving out just 30 minutes each day can make huge changes in your energy.  
2. What motivates you?  Not everyone is a runner.  Not everyone is a morning morning.  You need to find what works best for you to recharge.  So be open and listen to all the tips but then personalize it to your values and your current situation right now.  

Recharging your batteries is one of the most important ways to help your loved one.

R: Rest. One of the most important things a caregiver can do for the person they’re caring for is to take care of themselves. A caregiver who wears himself out, and keeps going 24/7 risks burnout.

E: Eat right. Take a cue from your loved one’s diet and take the opportunity to eat healthy things as well. Maybe you don’t have to adhere to such a strict diet, but eating right certainly never hurts.

C: Communicate your needs to others. Don’t expect anyone, even other family members to read your mind about what you need or what your loved one needs. Let people around you know the things that need to be done and that occasionally; even you could use a hand.

H: Hydrate. Drink lots of water. Water hydrates your body and keeps you energized. Take vitamins if you don’t get enough nutrition from your food.

A: Accept help. This can be the hardest thing for the caregiver to do, but it’s one of the best things a caregiver can do for their loved one and for themselves. When people offer to help, often caregivers turn them down because they don’t want to burden them or because they can’t think of something off the top of their heads. Get over the notion that the only way to get it done...

Navigating the intricacies of caregiving for individuals with Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) is no small feat. It's a journey that requires an abundance of empathy, patience, and resilience. This delicate subject is at the forefront of our latest podcast episode, where I take you through the personal odyssey as a caregiver to family members grappling with NPD.

The complexities of NPD stretch far beyond the superficial traits of vanity and arrogance. The disorder is deeply rooted in genetics, early childhood experiences, and societal influences. My candid narration delves into the draining effects of friendships marked by narcissism and draws insightful parallels between understanding dementia and NPD. This highlights the importance of recognizing the multifaceted nature of the disorder.

My experiences emphasize the emotional toll caregiving can take, particularly when the person being cared for exhibits manipulative tendencies and a lack of empathy. I bravely shares anecdotes that illustrate the key traits of narcissism and discusses the vital role of understanding these behaviors to effectively manage caregiving responsibilities. Moreover, I share the impact of NPD on relationships, noting how it can overshadow even the most loving connections.

When considering the causes of NPD, the discussion shifts to personal anecdotes about friends whose narcissism was draining and the cultural soil from which such traits may arise. Parenting styles, such as overindulgence and helicopter parenting, are scrutinized for their potential role in fostering narcissistic tendencies. Then I reflect on how understanding the disorder's roots can lead to more effective management and foster empathy—a crucial element for caregivers.

As the episode progresses, you'll get practical advice for dealing with someone with NPD, emphasizing the necessity of boundary-setting and self-care, offering a beacon of...

Diana Winkler is a singer songwriter and I'm an abuse advocate.  She uses music as one of my healing tools and facilitates Meaning The Soul healing groups.  She is also a podcaster of the Wound of the Faithful Podcast.

She is married to her husband, Brain for 11 years who struggles with severe ulcerative colitis.  Diana is very transparent about her own health struggles with memory loss too.  

In my interview, I ask Diana to share her everyday schedule.  She is figuring it out by juggling her schedule, pursuing her passions and finding time for herself.  

I ask Diana to unpack her caregiving journey.  She shares her spouse’s 10 year journey with ulcerative colitis, from the initial diagnosis,  remission and through the pandemic.  She talks about the stressors of his disease and how it impacts her as a caregiver.  

She shares her gratitude of both being able to work from home but also the stress there too.  

As a caregiver, Diana has had to be that advocate for her spouse's healthcare too.  She has a strong persistence to make sure her Loved One gets the best possible care.  

Then, we shift the interview on Diana and I ask her to share the pressure, stress and anxiety caregiving puts on her.  She shares the added responsibilities she takes on now that her spouse can’t do.  The grocery and meal planning needed.  

I appreciated Diana’s stories of where she lets the little things fall.  As caregivers we may need to just do that.  

Our conversation then led to the frustrations felt as a caregiver.  I am grateful she share this and then her awareness of her situation.  She knows that the disease is what she is most frustrated about, no her spouse.  

To end the interview, Diana and I talked about “filling our cups”.   She shares what really works for her - from her hobbies to martial arts to gardening.  

...

Each morning about 6:30, I put on my walking shoes and grab my ear buds for my 2-3 miles walk.  One particular thing this week got me.    I kept nodding my head and walking faster and faster.  My head was spinning when listening to a new podcast.   I couldn’t wait to get home to grab a piece of paper and write down my thoughts.  

I love podcasts that feed my soul with inspiration, self-help and self-development and ones that are just plain fun too.   Podcast listening is my jam when I am walking or working in my garden or getting ready in the morning.    

Ok… what was I listening to? I am trying to level up and be a better speaker.  It was my newest podcast that I recently added to favs.  My new mentor and speaking coach - The Heather Saeger show.  It was one from way back on Jan 6 where she interviewed Anna Nelson about Unlock a new level in your business using your superpower.    

It’s funny how you get more out of a podcast.  What I mean is that I got tips for improving my speech but also go tips to improving my caregiving.  

When I got home - I wrote in my journal all that I remembered plus…  

• Caregiving is self-development on steroids
• It requires you step up and start working on your mindset in a different way imagined
• It requires you to amplify your scheduling and coordination of everything - I put a super women cape next to my note.
• It requires a whole new discipline and shift to your self care 

I think you get the picture.  

What’s crazy is that you can’t really enroll in caregiving school and take courses and once trained you can then know it all   

So when you become a caregiver, you need to learn and adjust as you go.  

We all are different.  We all learn differently.  Our situations are different.  Our passions are...

Lisa Allarid was faced with huge adversity and a new normal  in December of 2018 when her husband was diagnosed with Stage 4 Chronic Kidney Disease.  She's a mom of 4 and works in the finance industry. 

She had to learn about kidney disease, nutrition, and how the donor system works.  

Lisa also shares how she stopped taking care of herself, going out with friends and really hitting rock bottom before she realized the importance of her needs.  

You will find some amazing golden nuggets about half way through the interview when Lisa shares how she is embracing her new normal by knowing what type of caregiver she is., what her strengths are, and what her weaknesses are. 

As she is growing and figuring out how to be a better caregiver and most importantly a better person to herself, she is expressing what she needs.  She's a beautiful role model and teaching her children the true meaning of love and caregiving.     

Follow Lisa on Instagram at @lisaallarid and @steveneedsakidney

When my Dad passed in 2018, my Mom was left with all of Dad's belongings. Amidst the decisions of what to keep or give away, one precious gift stood out—his journals, over 40 years' worth, started in 1972. Evenings after sorting through belongings turned into shared moments of joy and tears as we read entries that captured a lifetime.

Inspired by Dad's dedication, I embarked on my own journaling journey. However, I soon faced challenges—finding time, understanding its importance, and staring at a blank page. My structured, disciplined nature clashed with the freeform approach.

Determined to unravel the benefits, I delved into the neuroscience of journaling. Structured journals became my allies, offering prompts that eased the process. Gratitude journaling emerged as a powerful tool, reshaping my mindset by focusing on positivity.

With a commitment to just five minutes daily, my journal became a sanctuary. Gratitude and wins intertwined, fostering a shift in my perspective. This simple practice, now over six years strong, keeps me grounded and manifests joy, empathy, and love.

Daily journaling need not be complex; it's a quick self-check, taking just five minutes. A structured pause helps address feelings, uncover purpose, and celebrate growth. As caregivers, we often neglect ourselves, making this practice a potent act of self-care.

Beyond gratitude, wins, and moments of joy, journaling serves as a day check-in. Embracing simplicity, I've added a recording of my daily feelings, allowing for self-reflection and acceptance. This practice reveals more about myself each day, creating a lasting impact.

Remember, this isn't just journaling; it's committing five minutes daily to yourself. It's about what this daily investment will reveal about yourself moving forward.

In closing, caregiving is a journey of highs and lows. As you embark on your journaling practice, let it be a source of comfort, a reminder of your journey, and a testament to your...

When something's bothering you, you know that getting your mind off of it is easier said than done.   In fact, research shows that when people are instructed not to think about a specific topic, it makes it even harder to get that topic out of their minds. But rehashing negative thoughts over and over in your head, also known as rumination, can be unpleasant and counterproductive

Negative thinking can contribute to problems such as anxiety, depression, stress, and low self-esteem. The key to changing your negative thoughts is to understand how you think now

One of the first steps toward changing your negative thinking patterns is understanding exactly how you think. This involves identifying any cognitive distortions you may be experiencing, which can lead to negative thoughts.  Meaning the  (faulty or unhelpful ways of thinking) 

 Negative thinking patterns:

• Jumping to conclusions: 
• Catastrophizing
• Overgeneralization
• Labeling
• "Should" statements
• Emotional reasoning
• Personalization and blame

When negative thoughts and rumination sets in, there are ways to overcome or reduce them.

1. Pause, Stop and Shift
2. Keep Positive Company
3. Physically Throw Them Away
4. Explore Calming Techniques
5. Reframe Your Situation

Most of us spend a lot of time inside our own mind — worrying about the future, replaying events in the past, and generally focusing on the parts of our caregiver life that leave us dissatisfied. While common, negative or unwanted thoughts can prevent you from finding joy in the small things, distract you from focusing on what's important, and drain your energy. They can also make you feel anxious, stressed  and depressed.

The good news is that with dedicated practice, you can replace negative thinking patterns with thoughts that actually help. This can make a huge difference in your day-to-day happiness and comfort.

Find out your caregiver style by taking the Caregiver Cup Quiz.  This quiz will take less...

Have you said to yourself :  Why don’t I have the energy like I used to have?   Or, I am so tired all the time.   

It’s called caregiver fatigue.   This occurs when you feel emotionally and physically exhausted.  You are wearing out.  You are feeling totally used up due to too many demands.  You are burning out.

• What are your emotional demands?   Your loved one is sick and you can’t make them better.  They demand an extreme degree of physical and emotional care.
• What are your conflicting priorities?   Who else needs your time and energy?   Your family, your children, your boss, your employees, your co-workers,  Trying to meeting everyone’s needs creates conflict and stress.  
• Do you feel ambiguity in your new normal?  You really don’t know exactly what to do, meaning your roles and responsibilities.   
• You workload.  What’s on your plate?  Are you trying to juggle everything?  
• What about all the advocacy responsibilities?  The insurance, medical decisions,  medical visits, doctor conversations and nursing questions.   On top of that, making the hard decisions on finances, home care, hospice care and estate plans.   
• Then there’s the lack of privacy.  Do you feel it?  There is no time to be alone.  There may be many people in and out of your home or your life assisting with some facet of the caregiving all the time.  

These factors may contribute to feelings  that you have no control, or that you don’t have adequate skills or knowledge in this area.  Feeling that you don’t have independence or “say so” in your life.   Feeling you can’t succeed, or that you’re a failure.

When burnout reaches a critical level, it begins to be very evident in your life.  Burnout can manifest itself in various ways, including: ...