How many times have you heard…

• “You got this!”
• “Your loved one is so lucky to have you.”
• “Cathy, I don’t know what I would do without you,” my mom would say.
• Or, “How do you do it all? You are unbelievable.”

It may feel good to hear this, but deep inside, you are wilting. You are a mess. You are so over your head.

Self-confidence plays a crucial role in our lives as caregivers, impacting our ability to provide care effectively and maintain our well-being. Caregiver false confidence is when we believe we can manage all aspects of caregiving without help or set unrealistic expectations for ourselves. It’s a mix of mindset, personality traits, and external influences.

When I became a new caregiver back in 2017, I never stopped to look at anything. I just jumped in and took it on. I was working, running a direct sales business, training for a half marathon, along with managing my personal relationships and home life.

I think that’s completely normal. But there are factors that contribute to false confidence.

Mindset

A caregiver with a fixed mindset believes that their abilities and skills are inherent and unchangeable. They think things cannot be significantly improved or adapted over time. They believe they can handle all caregiving challenges, seeing their skills as static and unchangeable, rather than something that can be developed through learning and experience.

They avoid help and additional resources because asking for help might feel like an admission of failure or inadequacy. They often fear failing because it would imply a lack of inherent ability. This leads to stress and anxiety as they strive to manage everything perfectly on their own.

Behaviors of a Caregiver with a Fixed Mindset include:

• Overestimation of Capabilities
• Resistance to Learning
• Reluctance to Delegate
• Perfectionism

They may strive for perfection in their caregiving duties to prove their sufficiency,...