Feeling Overwhelmed or Stuck as a Caregiver?

Are you feeling stuck?   Are you feeling overwhelmed?   Maybe you feel that each day is running together and you are just getting through.  

I surely can relate.   Especially those days when your spouse is so sick and you're sitting alone.  Those days when you've so much on your plate and you don’t feel that you can do anything since you're so exhausted.   

You have to be honest and realize that your season is not all fun right now.  You’ll have obstacles and challenges.

I heard Brendon Burchard, who is one of my favorite speakers on productivity and author of High Performance Habits.  He refers to  “A caged life?”  and he asks, ``Are you living a caged life?    

OMG - yes - me   what about you?  

When you feel stuck, you feel like you're in a cage and can't get out.  Those feelings of overwhelm set in.   

Overwhelm may cloud your vision, your desire, your motivation.  

Just think about the concept of being in a cage.  

Phase One of a caged life is fear and frustration.  

That 4 letter word: FEAR

If you think of an animal that is caged.  They're fearful of being in that cage and may cry, may start pacing and when frustrated they start rattling the cage.  

As caregivers, when you have this quality, you might say things like:  

• I am afraid of (seeing my spouse sick, my spouse’s death, feeling alone, losing my job or extra income)    
• I am worried about finances, my weight gain, what ppl will say)  
• I am doubting my abilities, my situation, my relationship.    

Then comes frustration. 

• I’m frustrated with life.  Have you been there?  
• You miss your old life.  
• You look at others and wish you could be that way.

When you’re going through a difficult journey, you’re bound to be afraid and frustrated   YOU are not a bad person because of it.  

What I want to say is that you want to recognize where you’re at and then figure out ways to move out of fear,  out of frustration

Worry, Doubt, Fear.  You don't have to live in them.  

What is the reality of your situation?  Maybe your situation isn't going to go away anytime soon.  Well I can't be caged for years.  Or maybe, it's embracing the time you have together with your spouse.   It sucks but I need to address my fears and let them go.  

Awareness is the start of change.  

One of the fasted ways to get over a caged life is asking and getting help.     

• Then hope happens.  
• Then courage happens.   

Maybe it's a talk with a friend or a social media friend or a therapist.  You have to ask for help.   It may take some time to find that right person 

You can change - people may not understand you, but you know what's right for you and your Spouse.    It could be as simple as asking a neighbor to cut the lawn or accepting meals from friends or as serious as getting professional help.  

But what it takes is changing your mindset.   

Thinking positive, thinking realistic.  Thinking creative.  Thinking about yourself first and loving yourself. 

You also want to be aware of what happens to you when you get deeper in that fear and doubt and what your normal responses are. 

Do you shut down?  Do you resort to unhealthy behaviors?

What are those coping skills  you create for you.  We all know the bad ones:  caffeine, sugar, overeating, over-drinking, over-medicating, etc. For me it was overworking, sleeping and not working out or exercising.  

So take some time and figure out what these are and then find Healthy Triggers to overcome your fear and frustrations

What can you do the first hour of each day?   What can you do for 15 minutes?  Can you take one day off a week?

Because caregiving means YOU giving first.  You can’t be the best caregiver if you are not SAYING YES TO YOURSELF AND FIGURING OUT THE BEST VERSION OF YOU.  

I am cheering you on and here to help.  

To end,  I invite you to join the Caregiver Wife Community.   It’s a private facebook group where we support each other, a place to ask questions, share experiences and provide positive motivation.   Search Caregiver Wives in Facebook or click here.