E46: Ways To Release Unnecessary Caregiver Worry

One of the biggest things caregivers are good at is worry.   

• What if Dad doesn’t take is heart medicine?
• What if we can’t find a kidney donor for my husband?
• What if the CT scan shows growth?
• What if I can’t get refinancing for our home to a lower rate because my partner is not employed?

These concerns are legitimate and serious, but constant worry is stressful and will wear you down.  

Too much worry can create anxiety, stop you from the easiest of problem solving and can cause tension in relationships.

Are you an excessive worrier? Perhaps you unconsciously think that if you "worry enough," you can prevent bad things from happening.  But the fact is, worrying can affect the body in ways that may surprise you. When worrying becomes excessive, it can lead to feelings of high anxiety and even cause you to be physically ill.

But being completely worry-free is unrealistic.  What is realistic is taking steps to reduce and release some of those worries.  

Ways to turn those worries into a productive way of thinking and working through what to do when that worry comes into your thoughts:

1. Ask yourself,   why am I worrying?    Occasional stress and anxiety is a normal part of life. You might worry about things like health, money, or family problems. But people with generalized anxiety disorder (GAD) feel extremely worried or feel nervous about these and other things—even when there is little or no reason to worry about them.
2. Get your thoughts and worries on paper.  Write all your caregiving worries down on paper.  Yes, all of them.  Just writing things down helps you let go of some of the worries you’ve bottled up.  Seeing your thoughts in black and white can give you a better perspective and help you identify the specific things you’re concerned about.
3. Separate productive vs. unproductive worries.  Caregivers have both productive and unproductive worries.  An unproductive worry is something we have no control over, like the fact that your mom’s health is declining.  A productive worry is something where you can do something to improve the situation.  For example, if you’re worried that your dad will fall in the house, you can declutter and make safety updates to reduce the risk of falling.  
4. Ask “what’s the worst that could happen?”  Tackle a worry head-on and ask yourself “what’s the worst that could happen if this worry came true?”  Then, think about what you would do if it does happen. Preparing for a situation can reduce the power that worry has over you.

Worry is a negative thinking pattern that can be contributing to your anxiety symptoms. Negative thinking tends to be a learned habit that can impact your mood and anxiety. Since negative thinking typically develops over time, it can be unlearned and replaced with more positive views.

Identify you caregiver stress and anxiety by getting my FREE resources called THE THREE STAGES OF CAREGIVER OVERWHELM at https://www.cathylvan.com/caregiverstress