E38: How negative and toxic thoughts can affect you
Toxic thinking can affect you more than you know. Negative thoughts rob you of joy and leave you hopeless for any positive outcome.
Your pattern of thought influences the quality of your life (and your loved ones). Your thinking can also affect your health, sleep patterns, anxiety levels, and more.
When you recognize you're thinking toxic and it’s affecting your well-being, you can start practicing techniques to remove your toxic thoughts
How Toxic Is Your Thinking?
You declare your thoughts through words—sometimes in conversation with others and other times silently to yourself only. Whatever it may be, pay attention and listen to yourself. Do you find yourself saying these things to yourself or others?
- “I don’t have what it takes. I am not good enough.”
- “I am afraid that I will be______.”
- “I didn’t do it perfectly, so I’m a failure.”
- “What if I can’t finish in time?”
- “But I might fail.”
- “My behavior is not hurting anybody.”
- “Sure, I did that, but it was because [someone else did or didn’t do something].”
- “Why is this happening to me? I deserve better than this.”
- “It’s too late to ____. I cannot change now.”
- “I’m just too busy. I’ll do it later.”
- “Nobody cares about me.”
- “Everything I do fails.”
- “What do other people think about me?”
- “They have it so much better than I do.”
- “If I could only _____, then I would be happy.”
As Caregivers, you're very much vulnerable to stress, anger and many other negative emotions due to the nature of our situation. Think about your Loved One. They may have a chronic disease, dementia, PTSD, elderly or recovering from an injury/surgery. They will have good days and bad days. Their mood and emotions can challenge us
It's not enough to eliminate toxic thinking. You must develop healthy thinking to take its place. Train your brain.
One of the ways to deal with any overwhelming emotion is to find a healthy way to express yourself. Journaling can help you manage anxiety, reduce stress and cope with depression.
Once you're aware and are journaling, you'll start recognizing your toxic thoughts faster. Then you have to decide - Am I going to stay this way? Or am I going to change my thinking?
Come up with your plan.
- It may be as simple as, self-talk
- Shifting your mindset and a routine way of thinking
- Practice gratitude journaling
Keep things in the proper perspective. Things are rarely as bad as they seem. Consider problems as opportunities for positive solutions. Look for the good that can come.
- Think differently
- Think about you: eating, sleeping, hydrating, exercising
- Eliminate or reduce things that feed toxic thoughts
- Self-care / Self-soothe
- Time off / Time away
When the volume turns up on those shitty thoughts, you need to have a plan on what to do. When you have a plan you can turn down the toxic thoughts. Action Plan for you.
Start understanding: What brought on this thought? What is that voice in your head saying?
I’m not saying to ignore the toxic or negative thoughts because you need to get that information and figure it out. But experiment with ways to release the negativity and unrealistic pieces.
Grab that journal and thing through:
- What is your negative thought?
- What are your emotions?
- Why, What happened, How did it happen?
- What actions did I take? What actions do I want to take?
What's your Caregiver Style?
This quiz takes less than 3 minutes and gives you tons and tons of valuable insights into your caregiver style, your behaviors, your tendencies and how your style impacts your caregiving and most importantly you and your well-being.