3 Ways To Reduce Worry

Today I want to talk about Wilma.  Who is she?   She is that talk in your head that keeps you up at night.  She talks and raises your stress level.   She keeps distracting you.  She drives you crazy sometimes.  

I know you and I have Wilma in our head on occasion.   She is the worrier. 

This past week, I let Wilma the Worrier take control of me.   My husband, Denis wasn’t feeling well and had two occasions where he was nauseous, had stomach pain and fatigue.  If you haven’t hear about Denis, let me quick tell you his health journey.   He was diagnosed in 2017 with CLL (chronic lymphatic leukemia) and then int 2018 his cancer morphed into Hodgkins Lymphoma.   He is currently in remission but when he gets sick or has symptoms, we tend to get nervous.  

Like I said, I let my brain control me with the Wilma worry.  I laid in bed and couldn’t sleep with worry, I then started obsessing over Google and searching for symptoms and possible reasons for him not feeling well.  

I told myself that I had this mastered.  I worked really hard in 2018 to not let worry control me.  

Can you relate?  

Overwhelm and most specifically worry comes back when you least expect it.  

What I have learned is that you have to recognize it and come to the realization that you are doing it.  

Once I recognize it I have my own “go to plan”  

1.   Self Talk 

My self talk are those quiet times in the shower, when I am driving, working out, sitting alone. 

It’s my real talk.   That 25% of your brain that is positive, optimistic

2.  Journal

Get that notebook or journal and start writing things out.  I wrote out all the what if, the whys, then I don’t want to go back into a hard season.  I recommend you keep writing until you’ve  exhausted all thoughts.  

It’s interesting when I get all my pessimistic and negative thoughts out, i then shifted to reality:  wait to worry, I will figure it out, I know what to do and stop wasting your energy, Cathy.  So Wilma - take a hike.  

3.  Conversation with my spouse  / loved one.  

I am then ready to have some conversation with Denis or another loved one or friend.   It help to share your worry and talk through what each other are thinking.  

Your worries are all legitimate fears.  What if my Dad doesn’t take his heart meds.  What if mom is scammed and loses her savings.  What if my spouse has another stroke.  What if I lose my job.  

But too much worry can create anxiety, paralyze problem solving, and cause tension in relationships and more.  

But completely worry-free isn't realistic.  But what is realistic is taking steps to get some control over your worries.  

Determine which worries are productive and unproductive 

• An unproductive worry is something we have no control over, like the fact that your mom’s health is declining.

If you can recognize some of your worries as unproductive, you can get into the habit of telling yourself “there’s absolutely nothing I can do about this, so it’s a waste of time to even worry about it.”

Soon, you’ll be able to stop worrying and accept it as an unchangeable fact.

• A productive worry is something where you can do something to improve the situation.

Ask “what’s the worst that could happen?”

Tackle a worry head-on and ask yourself “what’s the worst that could happen if this worry came true?”

Then, think about what you would do if it does happen. Preparing for a situation can reduce the power that worry has over you.

So when Wilma starts to get in your head.  Remember these techniques but also remember that if you let Wilma stay too long she will take control of you.