Oh No, My Battery Is Low. What About You?

FACT:  You have 168 hours a week.  24 hours a day.  No more.  

• How many hours do you work your 9-5 job or business?
• How many hours do you spend doing work around your home?
• How many hours errands (that grocery shopping, pharmacy hours)
• Now at the time of the podcast - it’s holiday season - so how many hours are you shopping, wrapping, baking, decorating or doing other activities of the season. 
• How many hours do you spend caregiving
• Then your time and hopefully it’s self-care your me time 

Have you said any of these words out loud or to yourself  

• I am so tired? 
• I can barely make it through the day. 
• I would give anything to take a nap. 
• I can’t remember the last time I had a goodnight sleep. 
• Ijust keep drinking caffeine hoping to stay awake. 

Here was a schedule I had back in 2017 

• It’s Monday
• Get up at 5:30 am 
• Household chores (throw in a load of wash, tidy up around the house and water the flowers outside)
• Pack my lunch and work laptop and supplies)
• Journal and 30 minutes of working my business
• Then shower and quick breakfast
• 7:00 - drive my spouse to his day 1 of 3 chemotherapies and doctor appointments
• Lab work, doctor’s appt and then sit by the chemotherapy chair until 3pm
• I work my 9-5 job during that time
• 3pm drive spouse home.  He is not feeling well.  So get him in his lazy boy with crackers, jello and a warm blanket.
• Go to my home office and finish 9-5 job.  
• 5pm:  fold that laundry, make dinner, dishes - spouse isn’t hungry and goes to bed.  
• 7-10 pm:  work on my business
• 10pm check on spouse and get ready for bed
• 11pm spouse is up not feeling well - get him some Tylenol
• Can’t sleep due to worry - get up and down checking on spouse

The next day the same.  

Here’s another day in 2018

• 7am - decided to sleep in later now since I am so tired from last week’s time spent at the hospital 
• My spouse sleeps most the time.  I use the first hour to do all the housework since my spouse can’t do much.  I gave up my workouts 
• I work from home now to make it easier to take care of my spouse
• This past weekend, I spent the time with my Mom.  Dad passed away in April and she is selling her home that is 250 miles away and coming to live with us.  
• I feel like a zombie but keep pushing through
• My side hustle is excelling and my 9-5 job is entering it’s busy season.  
• I know I am not giving it my all at my 9-5 job and I feel so guilty but I am so hard
• I have to work my side hustle to help with the finances
• Most days end now at 12 midnight
• I looked in the mirror and could just cry.  

These two stories are my own.  I didn’t want to realize my reality.  I didn’t want to face that I couldn’t do it all.  

I lied to myself that things would get better.   I was at a virtual conference this week and listened to Michael Hyatt and this so resonated with me  

• “Resist the illusion to think your workload is temporary.”  
• I kept telling myself that life would get better and this wouldn’t be forever.  
• I needed to take a trip to the honest planet and come clean - I needed to change

I let this go on and on for months.  Looking back, I now recognize it.  I also see the negative results:  I gained 30 pounds, didn’t get my yearly raise, disconnected with my friends, and struggled with health issues.  

This is hard for me to talk about.  People kept telling me I was an inspiration but deep inside I was so tired.  I felt exhausted all the time.  I felt like a failure.  

But one can only do what they can do.  One can only do what you know and think is right.  

Friend…. I am telling you that it’s time to take a look in that mirror and really ask yourself are you being honest with yourself.  

If you want to reduce fatigue, you need to start with recognition.  

Look at your week and write down all the things you have on your schedule.  All the details.  

Evaluate how you are spending your time.  

• What things were necessary?  (sleep, nutrition)
• What things could you get help with? (home chores)
• What things were missing?  (time away)
• What things could you eliminate or get efficiency in  (online deliveries)

You can’t put more coffee in your filled cup

Unfortunately there is not a quick fix to Caregiver Fatigue or Caregiver Stress.  But what I know is that you can take baby steps.  You deserve it.  You can’t drink from an empty cup